When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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Edited 8/14/2004 2:31 am ET ET by lukeslawmom
(and curious . . . your #3, what do you do again?)
And I cannot believe, if your dh is a pediatrician as you claim, that he would think any of that is okay either.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
That is wonderful that you are finishing the basement. I do wish we had one. I miss that from our other house.
Have a great weekend.
Paige
Paige
"No, I dont allow my children to eat nothing but junk food or have hohos for snacks on a regular basis like Paige appears to"
Nothing but junk food? No. I didn't say that.
"No, I dont think it is healthy to sit on ones behind every night and watch tv, proudly proclaiming that they *never exercise*."
I said we don't exercise in the formal sense. Like on equipment, going to a workout place. We do activities, we do get exercise. We do not come in at 3:30 & plop down in front of the tv. We don't plop down in front of the tv all day Saturday & Sunday.
We do not see it as a bad example. We don't feel our parents set a bad example for us.
When we come in & have family time & do other things for 3 1/2 hours every afternoon when the three of us arrive home from our day, then once we get our showers & in our pjs I don't see anything wrong with as you would say plopping down in front of the tv at 7 with our tv trays & enjoying a family evening of tv. We've spent plenty of time doing other things.
We are home all day every Saturday & other than services all day on Sundays. We have several hours to do things other than tv. Yes, we spend our night time in front of the tv just like through the week. But we've had all day to do other things.
Paige
I have to get my children out of the house once or twice a day (kind of schedule outings around that blessing known as naptime). I also have different play areas I call zones which have toys and games inside and outside of the house. When one of my 3 starts getting bored, and asks for tv, I get them to a different zone! LOL.
My children would be content to have the tv on most of the day if we stay in. It would likely be background noise while they do other activities, but I try not to let that happen, hence my latest rule: 2 hrs of play, then 1/2 hour of tv.
It's hard avoiding the tv. I can't understand why all of the board members are saying it's not. We don't even have movie channels (but I think we make up for it in DVDs).
Oh, and like you and your DH, come 9pm, I am in bed with the tv on, not reading Shakespeare like apparently everyone else in the world.
The only relevant question to me with regard to the studies is: Does the child raised without tv become a genius?
Does cutting out tv altogether ensure children will raise their IQs or something?
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