When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 11:14pm
Since when don't "little girls" enjoy sports? Since when is gymnastics NOT a sport?

There are several THOUSAND young women in Athens this week who would be QUITE offended by your suggestion that "normal girls" don't like sports and that gymnastics is acceptable because it's not a sport.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 11:41pm
I didn't say "little girls" in general. I was replying about MY daughter only. She hates them!

Gymnastics is a sport, of course. I was talking about team sports like soccer, basketball, baseball, tball. Not gymnastics.

My reply "she likes to do things other little girls do" is not in response of how you took it. YOu can twist my words anyway you like, the fact will still reamin you just misread & misunderstood what I was saying.

My little girl likes to run, play tag, play on the swings, play hopscotch, play barbies, baby dolls, color. Like other little girls do. That includes gymnastics, dance. As I stated directly.

"So she has no interest in sports" I was, to explain again, referring to organized team sports like soccer, tball, basketball.

I meant no offense to any women or girls. I mean no offense either when I say, our family will not be viewing any of the Olympics. We all just hate sports. We flip the channel when watching the news & it is time for the sport coverage. No interest at all. My dh finds it all quite boring.

One of my nieces is quite athletic. She has always played basketball & baseball. Several of the little girls in my kindergarten play soccer in the fall & spring leagues. They play other team sports. DD has little girl friends that play team sports.

Paige









Edited 8/14/2004 11:43 pm ET ET by paigeandhannah

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 11:54pm
OMG that sounds totally gluttonous to me.

And I suppose that not one person there, out of all 17 girls and their parents, was overweight or had health problems, right? ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:06am
You most certainly did. You said, and I quote: "She likes to do things other little girls do. So she has no interest in sports."

That absolutely says that little girls IN GENERAL don't like sports. You go on to say that she DOES like gymnastics. Well, if she doesn't like sports, but DOES like gymnastics, you are saying that gymnastics is not a sport.

spin all you like,, but it's YOUR post and it absolutely says your little girl likes what OTHER little girls like--and it's not sports.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:08am
Oh, and in addition to the above, gymnastics IS both organized and a team sport.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:30am

Okay. . .so maybe my math skills are rusty, but assuming Paige sleeps 8 hours per day (leaving 16 waking hours), how is watching TV 3 hours per night (7-10 pm) 37-44% of her waking day?

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:41am
Wow, now you have me super curious. What kind of social circle do you have? Would you mind describing the type of people you hang out with? I would mostly be interested in education level, occupations, religious and political affiliations, proximity to culturally rich urban centers, and economic class.

I don't know a single other mother IRL who doesn't in some way struggle with issues concerning kids and television watching, and I know a lot of mothers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 1:37am
Not yet anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 3:32am
And you think this is acceptable? To serve NO fruits and vegetables, nor to buy them when one is doing their regular grocery shopping?

This is beyond bizarre. It has GOT to be a joke.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 5:07am
I buy & serve fruits & vegetables.

What is your point?

Paige

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