When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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I have become friends with moms I've met through our school where I teach & dd attends. In your asking about economic class, I wouldn't say poor & uneducated. Our tution alone is $1000 per month. But I resent you asking about economic class. I don't believe people have to be of a certain income level &/or college educated to be intelligent people who fully welll think out their parental decisions or any other life decision.
I have become friends with moms I've met through church.
Now that we have moved back home I have old friends from school days who are now parents.
Political affilitations? Republicans & Democrats. I'm a republican, so is dh. Both of our families.
Culturally rich urban center? We don't live far out in the country. We both grew up in a well populated city area & have lived in cities (Tampa, Columbus for 2 ex.) The neighborhood we live in is upscale. We don't "belong" if you will when looking at the neighbors who are all lawyers & doctors owning a couple of mercedes & a yacht, vacation homes & houseboats. But we make a fine living. My dh's salary provides everything for us including vacations & money to invest with.
I really don't know what you are looking for or where you are going with your questions.
Dh & I have both graduated college. He even had a double major. We both worked & lived on our own providing for ourselves while we went to college. We are both strong people who are independent.
Both of my parents still WOH FT today. My mother is a registered nurse & has been for years and years. My MIL still works FT, so does my FIL. They both have college degrees with both of my parents.
Paige
It still will not change the fact you are mistakenly reading it.
Yes, gymnastics is a sport. Duh! It can be an organized sport, Duh!
My dd loves gymnastics although is it a sport but she doesn't participate in it "organized" as in on a team or with other boys &/or girls.
Paige
I like Bill Moyers every now and then, but other than that, nothing interests me on PBS. And PBS has commercials now. There was a time they were above that. Now it's commercials PLUS fund raising pushes. They've whored themselves, like every other channel. LOL. They even have a silly reality show too.
Give me a good book or The Apprentice anyday!
If a person can maintain skinny, like Paige, despite junk food, I tend to believe she has excellent genes which compensate. Don't you know of any elderly people with very bad habits who've outlived their healthier friends? I've known of acoholics and cigar/cigarette smokers who've lived into their 90s with their minds fully aware and raring to go.
Sounds to me like Paige and her daughter have good genes.
What we old people with children call exercise these days is just mindless and I too will admit that I hate doing it. Now if the moms in my neighborhood could organize a pick-up game of 3 on 3, I'd be there.
My children will see the tv as background noise and continue to play with their toys and games. The only time they stare into the tv screen such that I can't get their attention, lol, is if we get a new DVD. My girls will watch it mindlessly for the first 20 mins, then forget about it. The next day, if we watch it again, and they like it, they'll probably watch the whole thing. Then they'll ask for it about 5 more times in the coming days, then never watch it again.
(I completely agree that no exercise and junk food is unhealthy.)
I know of plenty such children. And I envy the moms with skinny kids who get to go to McDonalds or get to carry lollipops in their bags, instead of fresh fruit.
Perhaps it's because I have 3 pre-schoolers who still don't just grab a book from the library shelf and sit quietly on a comfy chair for hours. But many youngsters who are not in front of the tv on rainy days have very active, tired moms.
What do you do when your child(ren) has nothing scheduled on a rainy day? Or do you not have any days like that whatsoever?
How do you occupy those hrs after dinner when your child(ren) has played once inside and then outside with all of her toys, has read thru all books she likes, has gone to the beach and has taken a bath all before dinner? What do you do in the hrs after dinner?
If this wasn't you I'm thinking of, just disregard this post. I always enjoy your posts and enjoy your honesty here. I just can't imagine how that situation could work happily in a home!
It's not even an issue of how much tv 4 children can watch in a day. But it's more of an issue of, if they only watch 1 hr per day, there must be a brawl like in my relative's home. They too try to limit hrs on tv and computers, as do I. Right now, we only have 2 children to worry about with tv.
I have friends who work and have nannies. They don't mind if the nannies leave the tv on and just want the children to have safe, enjoyable days home. One friend did fire a nanny who - the nanny cam revealed - had the tv on all day, which was OK with my friend, but the tv was tuned to the Christian channel station...all day! LOL.
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