When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 9:11am
You wouldn't watch blue with your child? My hubby & I watch children's programming in the afternoon with our toddler. It is an important part of our day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 9:33am
I agree that these people have got to be suffering some health problems. My children (all of us, actually) get constipated if they don't eat enough fiber. Are kids in Georgia somehow exempt from this basic biological requirement?!?
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 9:44am
And you can go to a batting cage and hit balls all day long without another soul there. So what? Gymnastics is still a team sport. They can't be COMPETED alone, although people ON THE TEAMS can compete in individual events, they also compete AS A TEAM.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 9:47am
Then you read all KINDS of meaning into a statement that had nothing to do with what you inferred.

She said, flat out her kid likes to do things other little girls do, SO she doesn't like sports, with a VERY OBVIOUS implication that most litle girls don't like sports.

I see no reason for the majority of rational, English speaking readers to ignore the rules of English grammar and definition just so we can all pretend she didn't imply little girls don't like sports.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 9:50am
spin? Is that how you define applying the rules of English grammar to an English sentence?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 10:46am
Swoosh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 10:48am
We are not in Georgia. My sister with 6 kids is not in Georgia. We don't have constipation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:34pm
You really see no reason to limit tv? With all the studies that link too much TV to obesity, high cholesterol, poor cardiovascular fitness and an increased risk of smoking?

Hey, whatever floats your boat. I just feel sorry for your children who are seeing such a crappy example being set by their parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:38pm
Not that much of a leap Virgo.

Coconutpalms said herself in response to my question "Do you have a limit on the amount of hours you see as acceptable or, since there is no harm IYO, is an infinite amount ok?":

>>Limit tv. Why? Never mind, I know a few of the thoughts here on tv, it was a rhetorical quiestion. No, we don't limit ourselves.<<

Sounds like her family watches an "unlimited" amount to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:39pm
She wasn't referring to you. I believe Paige is from GA.

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