When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 2:38pm
So your mom eats a lot of fast food, doesnt exercise, and watches several hours of tv a night too? And thinks this is HEALTHY?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 2:53pm
Yeah. One. My maternal grandfather. Thin as a rail, unhealthy eating habits. Lived until he was 78. then had a massive stroke, leading to a massive coronary and died in front of my grandmother before she could even GET to the phone for an ambulance.

NOT the way I would recommend.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 2:56pm
True. the point does seem to have gone far over your head.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 2:57pm
It's ridiculous. Hmmmmmm.....How can I think you don't?.......Well let's just peruse an entire thread of posts stating how EVERYONE I know eats this way. Heck she even sees what in her one friends shopping cart (that personally cracked me up) Whatever........ like I said to her pick a side and get back to us. with it"

Of course what do you expect from the debater who gave us "our school's homework is neccessary and wise. But I don't agree with it and I will take my child out and give her less homework" thread.

I am assuming you are wearing that bike helmet cyduck's mom gave you. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 2:58pm
Then you AGREE that what you SAID was that little girls don't like sports. Whether you actually MEANT it or not is irrelevant, considering what you SAID was what I claimed originally and what you have previously denied saying.

It's not MY bad interpretation when the rules of English grammar dictate a specific meaning that YOU never intended; that would be your misuse of English.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 2:58pm
I can't "guarantee" it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 3:00pm
Yeah, I wouldn't be putting any money on that, either.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 3:02pm
I am wearing it! But I think its starting to crack! LOL


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 3:03pm

I'll admit I hate it when dh falls asleep in bed with the TV on after I've already fallen asleep. . .but I just ask him to leave the remote where I can find it.


I'll also say that I do watch the amount of time that my children are sedentary. . .I do encourage them to go outside and enjoy unstructured, active play and they are all enrolled in some form of structured, active play. . .but I just won't go so far as to insinuate that TV is inherently evil or unwholesome. . .or that it's viewing must be STRICTLY limited by a specific time limit.


Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 3:05pm
Your pediatrician DH should be telling his patients' parents

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