When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:04am
Swimming around in a pool, doing a few laps, and lounging on a raft? I don't really think about that as exercise & most people would not.

Get off your high horse.

I won't be responding to any more of your posts that are dripping with rudeness & sarcasm.

I've got better things to do with my time.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:04am
Then why did you say, more than once *I never exercise*???? And you only came up with swimming and *brisk walks* (with a 6yo??? COME on) after being asked repeatedly.


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:05am
Yes. I never hid that fact. How on earth did you miss it?

I said we watch 3 hours of family time tv.

Once dd is asleep dh & I continue to watch tv.

I've never hid that fact. I've mentioned it several times in this thread.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:07am
Ugh. You really arent getting this are you? Its not about me wanting you to *do as I do*. I honestly could care less. But its YOUR insistence that its HEALTHY to live as you do. That large amounts of junk, tv and no exercise is *okay* and *acceptable*.

Do you have ANY clue about appropriate nutrition, at all?????????????


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:07am
No what you said was "I don't exercise".
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:07am
I don't consider floating around on the raft, doing a few measley laps as exercise.

I don't really think about doing a few stretches as exercise.

I think of exercise as more of being on a treadmill, going to an aerobics class.

My dd does not go on the brisk walks with me, you are wrong, sorry.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:08am
Yes, I do :o) Paige
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:11am
A problem with YOUR reading apparently. go back and re-read your own posts. Do you really think that everyone here is that stupid? YOU said YOU NEVER EXERCISE. You said it MORE THAN ONCE. You didnt say *oh we dont formally exercise* until someone called you on your comment that YOU NEVER EXERCISE. And you didnt come up with *oh I swim every day and do stretching* until asked REPEATEDLY what you do to stay active.

Yes, you are completely inconsistent, and completely unbelievable. What, are people NOT supposed to take what you say at face value? Is there some mysterious innuendo we are supposed to *magically* read into your posts that lead us to believe differently than EXACTLY what you post?????

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:14am
Hey Dj. If you want to call sitting in the floor listening to the news, drinking a cup of coffee, doing a few stretches and maybe five sit ups exercise, you go right ahead. I really don't refer to it as exercise (yep, technicallly exercise moves but I still don't).

If you want to call floating around on a raft, hanging out leisurely in the water, doing just a few laps (definately not even 10) exercise, go ahead.

You asked me what I do that I'm not sitting in a chair or stretched out in bed.

I answered and you still have a problem. Get over it is my best advice to you.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:17am
Right! I so agree.

Paige

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