When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:20am
So then you WERE correct when you stated in the first place that you really *don't* exercise. Because you are correct in stating that floating on a raft and a "few measly laps" isn't exercise.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:22am

OK, so if you just do a few leisurely laps and lounge around on a raft, why are you now holding up your swimming as an example of how you stay active?


And on the flipside, if you make a point to walk briskly while tracking how many calories you are burning, why did you say you never exercise?


Of course we're confused. You keep making up stuff on the fly and changing your story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:28am
So then we WERE correct to assume that you don't exercise and lead a sedentary lifestyle like we have said all along. Thanks for proving it with this post.

You claimed to never exercise. Then spend countless posts denying that fact. Then you state and prove in this post that you DON'T exercise. LOL Yeah Right.

The only reason DJ has a problem is because you can't keep your story straight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:34am
North Shore and CSI are both on during the 7-10 period that you have "family TV time." How can your DD be asleep during this time?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:35am
Because I was being accused falsely of sitting or lounging around all the time.

Which is false!

I've explained over & over about the exercise thing. I don't do any formal exercising. No classes, no gym, no equipment. Yes, if I take a brisk walk I'd like to see how many calories I've burned so I bought one of those little gadgets after I saw my mom's. Big deal, really.

I have not made up one thing & have not changed my story.

I do not consider floating around the pool & doing a few laps as exercise. Do you? I don't. But I'm not sitting on the sofa all the time.

I do not consider sitting in the floor with a cup of coffee doing a few stetches as exercise. Do you? But I'm not sitting n the sofa all the time.

You know what, I get asked to tell what I do other than sit & watch tv. I tell. Then I get blasted. Why? For tellling the truth, I get blasted! If people did not want to know what I do other than watch tv and eat ho hos then they shouldn't have asked then I wouldn't ever brought up the walking, floor exercises, and swimming!

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:35am
Can I borrow it please???
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:36am
If playing tennis & ball with my dd, swimming around the pool, taking walks is what you think of as sedentary lifestyle, then you think whatever your little brain desires.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:37am
Have you not heard of the great invention of a vcr?

You tape the shows & then you get to watch them at a more convenient time.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:25am
Okay, so now you are back to saying you dont exercise, right? Just as I said, a sedetary lifestyle. You either exercise or you dont. You are the one who keeps flip flopping here. First you say you *never* exercise. Then, when called on it, you say you are *very* active but wont say what you do to stay active. Then you say you *swim every day and do stretches*. Then you say *oh but I am doing 5 situps and floating around a lounge chair in the pool*. Like the joke is on us somehow????

Do you even comprehend how bizarre your posts are sounding here?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:27am
I highly doubt that.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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