When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:28am
I think you dont understand what a *sedetary lifestyle* means. It doesnt necessarily mean just sitting on the couch. It means living as you do-very little exercise, not much of getting your heart rate up in any way, not much in the way of body movement.

Look it up. Research it. Expand your mind.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:30am
If that is the case and you are both taping your shows, why cant you want them one after the other rather than one watching tv in another room????

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:39am
I am only re-typing the exact things you have typed. The inconsistencies have been yours all along. If you dont want people to misunderstand you, try being upfront and say what you mean, rather than constantly going back and forth.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:43am
No, most people would not consider those things exercise. So why are you calling them that? YOU are the one who started spouting off about how you *swim every day*. Which is it? You float around on a raft or you truly *swim* every day?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:45am
So when do these *brisk walks* fit into your "3.5 hrs of activity* and then your *3 hrs of family tv*??? Do you go walking at midnight or 5am??

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:53am
DJ, if you want email me at ribbondot@yahoo.com. I was going to email you through you ivillage profile but wasn't sure it would go through. I have a theory......
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:13am
done

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:19am
check your email!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:51am
Sacrilege! There is nothing better than SpongeBob.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:28am
It would be a pretty telling sign that the nanny was letting them watch TV if the kids knew the theme songs of shows Felicia doesn't let them watch, knew various commercials by heart, or started conversations with, "well, today on Dr. Phil. . . ."

Pages