When did structure become a bad thing?
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

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You don't think Ped's base their message on their own personal upbringing and beliefs?
In the Ped office that we go to, there is one Ped that would love to strangle any mother who decided to use formula and isn't into baby massage, carrying baby all the time (attachment parenting I believe) and thinks it is absolutely horrible if they do not co-share the bed.
There is more than plenty enough hours.
On school nights that is 6 1/2 hours BEFORE dd goes to bed. Non-school nights more unless she falls asleep with us in the l/r.
There is plenty enough time.
Paige
It's not that hard.
I'm not out there swimming laps back & forth. Yah, I may swim from one to the end a couple of times, or a little more if I feel like it. But nothing rigorous at all.
I guess when I said I do stretches & maybe a few sit ups those women thought I was doing a workout routine & a 100 sit ups. lol No! It just feels good to stretch & maybe do a few sit ups while i'm listing to the news & having my coffee before I jump in the shower.
I have always loved to swim. I grew up with a pool. That was a dream that I wanted & when we found this house the pool is what sold me.
Paige
I thank God for tv during the last trimesters of my pregnancies and even now when I wake up with a headache - the tv may be on all day. Otherwise, it's a struggle with the tv and it's actually just easier to get them out of our house each day (a lot of work in itself) rather than respond to persistent (and loud) whining.
We watched the hurricane coverage together as a family. She is interested in weather & she enjoyed it, asked a lot of questions, got out her map to see where they were talking about.
A learning experience.
Paige
She was a great dr. One of my favorites in all the moving around we have done.
But it isn't her job to discuss those things.
She would let you know that without really saying it by handing you a stack of information..
Paige
but the everyday murder, beaten and missing kids, people stabbed to death overnight in the next town??? No way.
eileen
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