When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 7:39am
I'll take the white wine but I prefer to skip reading or going to them.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:26am
i don't suppose it occurred to you that the juvenile high school stuff is coming from BOTH sides??? take it from someone who's mostly stayed out of the fray -- your posts are NO better and sound JUST like that. Truly the pot calling the kettle black!!!!!

LOL.

eileen -- who's glad she's stayed out of most of it, YIKES!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:27am
which all comes back to the ORIGINAL point -- basically you lead a sedentary (overall) lifestyle with virtually NOTHING that you, or anyone else, would deem as exercise.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:34am
DH and the boys just love it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:37am
LOL, I can't help it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:38am
My ped asked while I was pg with each boy what the childcare situation would be, if I would be returning to WOH, wanted to make sure our care providers had emergency medical POAs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:40am

Yes, ma'am, absolutely.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:48am
Excessive TV watching MAY cause medical problems.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:52am
You and your family are cordially invited over to our house any evening for Sponge Bob - but only if we can have our Bailey's and vanilla ice cream in another room while the men watch SB!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:53am
Chuckle, chuckle.

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