When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:04am

LOL, I was thinking the EXACT same thing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:05am
You missed the word "excessive". I don't think anyone is debating that any tv is harmful rather excessive tv viewing is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:08am
You wouldn't want to come visit me!

Surround sound, speakers so any particular tv in the house can be heard from wherever, including the front porch, back porch, and way out in the yard.

We even put in those big flat screens in the bathrooms & we have two tvs in the kitchen. One for the cooking area, the other for the seating area.

I don't think we have a room in the house that doesn't have a big ol' tv screen.

Ok, the laundry room. But I've got speakers.

Cathleena

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:09am
Nope. Didn't miss the excessive word at all.

Cathleena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:14am
I'm glad you're proud of it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:16am
So is it your position that any amount of TV viewing is fine and harmless?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:17am
and if it works for ya - whatever. however, that still does NOTHING to diminish how unhealthy it is for her (and your) KIDS.

and i've been there -- although not quite to the same extent as either of you....i no longer let major amounts of junk food in the house. we do have ice cream and some crackers, but that's about it.

as for exercise, i HAVE a weight problem and finally decided to take some action for it. I now walk 8-10 MILES per week either on my treadmill or, since my treadmill is broken, hiking on nearby trails. My kids have seen the benefits of exercise in me AND i have always encouraged them to get up, get out and get active (doesn't take too much prodding though).

i've made it possible for them to be in organized sports so that i KNOW that they are up and moving around at least several times during the week during the school year. At other times they are easily to be found playing baseball across the street, basketball in our driveway or riding scooters in the neighborhood.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:27am
Youot it!

Cathleena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:29am
Well then, you are objectively, medically speaking, incorrect.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:30am

And on a Monday too!

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