When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:35am
I dont care whether or not they want to live a healthy life or not. Its their life. But to say it ISNT unhealthy? Thats just ridiculous.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:35am
Nope, never heard of such a thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:36am
It isnt a *philosophy*. Its a fact. Sound nutrition isnt some created *idea*. Its a necessity.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:38am
No, thats not completely true. Living a *sedetary lifestyle* is one that involves little or no exercise/activity. The word *sedetary* might mean *to sit*. But the entire term does NOT just mean sitting behind a desk (which as a teacher, I am guessing she does a lot of too), it means a less active lifestyle overall.


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:40am

We don't get alot of that stuff and when we do, I tend to mute it...if it slips through, I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:43am

I am sure your neighbors love you. Why do you need to hear your TV outside?


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:44am
Sounds exactly like us.

Except we've also got these neat little hats that we wear that have a mini TV screen built right in them that drops down right in front of our faces. That way we're NEVER away from our beloved television!

Your family should get some. They're awesome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:44am
Because she might be medically harmed if she didn't have access to mass media 24/7!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:46am
LOVE the screen name!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:49am
Totally agree.

In fact, I think a LACK of television is unhealthy. Too much playing outside, exercise, reading, THAT'S the problem with kids today. Yuck.

Whenever my DS asks to play with his friends outside I tell him that's icky and boring. It's much funner to sit with me and shove M&Ms and ice cream and chips down our pie holes. We have a grande ol' time!

There are crumbs everywhere but we just eat them off the floor rather than get up and walk to the kitchen. Too much effort for us! That's how we do it.

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