When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:52am
What do you base your position on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:52am
Crumpetsandteagarden?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:54am
nt
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:57am

This weekend I took my co-workers granddaughter to see The Princess Diaries. We are walking through the parking lot at the mall and I see a Lexus something or another. Felicia, the car had 2 DVD's in it. Two!! Why??


Zak is begging for a DVD player in the car. I just refuse. Can we have one place where boredom sets in and the constant noise just fades? The car is my place of sancutary and I am not willing to put a DVD player in it.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:59am
Why not? I think that's a super idea.

Our television sets are like members of our family. We pack them with us everywhere we go.

But actually, we don't really GO anywhere because we're always sitting in front of the ol' boob tube! That's what works for us and we are lovin' it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:01am
Now there's big surprise. Thought: Why do you suppose they call TVs boob tubes?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:03am
Sorry twinkiesandoreos, I got you confused with another poster in the thread,lol.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:06am
Yes, yes, we NEED more boredom!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:09am
Eeek, not us. When my kids are bored they usually start bickering. I can't stand bickering!~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:10am
I am dyyyyyinnnn' over here...ROFLMBO

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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