When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:11am
I'm not sure what you're saying . . . but aren't crumpets kinda like Zingers?

Yummy!! Thanks P&J, now you've made me even hungrier!! And DS and I just finished our breakfast of poptarts and Orange Crush. Sigh . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:14am
Go ahead and make some for brunch! Oh but would that interfere with TV time?lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:16am
That's when the TV comes on LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:18am
I know this is a joke post. . .but this is exactly why I WON'T get a mini-van with a DVD in it. . .or put a DVD player in my car.
Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:18am
Hey maybe if we leave it on all the time the kids will never bicker. Maybe that's the reason some allow unlimited TV?~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:20am
We have a dvd player in our car. My children are only allowed to use it if we are going over 90 miles away from home, which is almost never. They have never had it on at any other time.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:25am

Ah but then the kids fight over what to watch.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:36am

I understand that you may rarely use it and it may have simply 'come with the package'. . .but why have it (in general, not you specifically) if it's only for 'long trips' and you (again, general you) rarely take long trips.


We'd be the same way about it. . .only for trips to see grandparents (because that's the only place we go that's more than a 1-2 hour drive). . .and we only go to see g-parents 3-4 times per year.


Too tempting for me. . .and I guess I'm also a bit too cheap. . .

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:40am

Oh no...all meals must be eaten in front of the TV!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:59am
No, it's not me. I just got here. But the arrival of this tulip character definitely confirms my suspicions about someone fooling around with the boards.

BTW, in case you didn't know I was crumpetsandteagarden.

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