When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:07pm
WELL,WELL, WELL :::::WHAT A COINKIDINK::::: that your arrived on the scene just in time. LOL Hmmmmm.....Right. Nice try. But a little to obvious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:13pm
Badgering is STRICTLY RESERVED for those who can't post a story straight.

Nice try on the alias, but not very original. ROFL

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:14pm
Whatever are you insinuating?

P&H and T&R remind me of the dashing duo gardenandhome and muffinsandtoast. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:29pm
Not me. Unhealthy is bad, whether you're skinny or overweight. And the consequences of unhealthy and thin are just as bad as unhealthy and overweight.

Frankly, I could not care less if I never lose another pound as long as my bp and blood sugar levels continue to drop. Right now, the weight loss is just a happy by-product, but it's NOT my goal.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:32pm
And my roommate didn't invent cigarettes, but that doesn't make his choice to smoke them any more healthy than her CHOICE to serve that garbage to her kids.

Just because someone (or even millions of someones) WILL eat/watch a product doesn't make that product harmless, healthful, wise or worthy.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:44pm

Am I supposed to be impressed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:51pm
it's way more fun to head to the commons for a night of Shakespeare with a case of Old Milwaukee, some Doritos and possibly a box of Twinkies--all three of which are horrid, particularly mixed, but the social outrage is totally worth the nasty Old Milwaukee/Twinkie hangover the next morning

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:54pm
It's a floor wax AND a dessert topping.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:03pm
No doubt. No one can be that dense when it comes to debating, unless they want to be that dense. KWIM I always felt that the post were a set up. They had a too familar formula about them. Good thing T&R came by to "support" her. LOL What a joke.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:06pm
LOL! Now that's funny.

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