When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:14pm

It would help corroborate your claim to be a PP poster if you could give the name of a board upon which you regularly post at that site.


I wouldn't go so far as to say you ARE an alias. . .but your emergence from (seemingly) nowhere with TV habits even worse than Paige's is suspect at best.


Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:26pm
What boards do you participate on over there? I dont recognize your name

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:26pm

I really don't care that you have a billion tvs in your house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:38pm

Oh, come now, Merella. You know you are jealous in your secret heart of hearts. You know you dream of the day that solitude doesn't exist and you can watch TV even while you use the bathroom. You can outside and garden and watch the TV you implanted into the tree.


I have always wanted to live in a world with constant noise. I personally have televisions everywhere in my house, in my car and in my yard. If, heaven forbid, the electricity goes out I have two boys and three dogs and one gerbil to fulfill my need for constant noise. Of course, I sometimes forget I have children because of the televisions but they manage to find food for themselves and dress themselves.


I personally am green with envy at TulipsandRose and wish I could have so many televisions also.


(sarcasm disclaimer)

"When death like a gypsy comes

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:48pm
Why do you think it's admirable? If TV is as harmless as you've all claimed, isn't "admitting" to liking it about as "admirable" as "admitting" that one brushes one's teeth regularly and changes one's underwear? Shouldn't such an "admission" be considered as "Well, I should hope SO!" rather than something to be admired because of her bravery in admitting to it?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:50pm
If there's no problem, then admitting to it isn't very admirable, is it?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:57pm
Badgering is the momentum?

Badgering is the measure of the motion of posters in relation to their mass and velocity?

What is it, exactly, that you're trying to say here?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:06pm
Both sets of grandparents live 2 hours away. We see them about 9 times a year total. It's worth it to me and my kids know not to even ask for any other time. If you could hear how quiet my car is on those trips, you might just spring for it.;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:07pm
Very true!~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:09pm

ROFL - perhaps my feelings about tv are tied in the fact that my father used to BLARE the tv b/c he refused to admit he was losing his hearing and needed a hearing aid.

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