When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:50pm
If you think someone asking you what exactly you do to stay active is *nosey* then you are on the wrong board. Things tend to get a bit personal here. You certainly have the choice not to answer-but like I have said, dont expect people to read things into your posts OR read your mind. You said SEVERAL times, that you *never exercise*. You made SEVERAL conflicting statements in regards to your lifestyle and health habits. You backtracked all over town.

And as I have said, I really dont care how much tv you watch. That has never been the issue. The issue is your idea that eating cr@p and not exercising AND watching skads of tv is HEALTHY. Its not. That isnt my *opinion*. Its a fact. Read up on nutrition and health if you dont believe it. I'm sure your mother has some books.

And I am done with this thread.


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:51pm
Yes. But the kids find it cool when he says did you see clifford do this yesterday & they look up at him that he knew that. It is a cute connection he has with his patients.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:53pm
No. He does not feel it is his place to tell them about tv viewing. He is their dr. He treats them for strep, colds, and gives them physicals. He makes sure they are up to date on their immunizations. If a parent wants to discuss something extra he is more than willing to discuss it with them at any length in detail they wish. But he isn't going to hop up and say by the way about the tv viewing......
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:54pm
He is rarely asked for advice on tv. He says it is the parent's place to ask though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:56pm
We just got dvd/tvs installed in both of our sport U's. I'll have to say, we love them. They were great for travelling this summer. They will be great for moving.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:58pm
To some families eating in front the tube is just not a big deal. To us, it isn't. My husband almost has dinner ready & we will be watching CSI while we eat it. We would do it if our baby was older. No use to not live like we desire, eh?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:04pm
Surely baby is asleep while you are watching CSI? My kiddos watch plenty of tv, but that is a line I would never cross. I truly believe that even if you think "they are too young to get it" they do get it and it is scary stuff.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:06pm

Am

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:17pm
Us neither!

The more TV the better I say. We like to keep all our sets on (we have six, not counting our hats or the ones in the vehicles!) at all hours. That way, when we actually do venture from room to room, we don't miss a thing.

I don't understand why someone would limit TV. What's the sense in that? Obesity-schmesity! Not gonna happen in our house!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:21pm
Ok. Then why do you care if people watch scads of tv, eat the way they choose, & hate sports so much they don't exercise. Paige has been upfront that they watch tv, eat junk food, and she abhors sports. You have a problem with her life style is obvious. Why don't you just not give a da**. Because who cares whether you approve or not? We exercise, go to the gym, attend aerobics. We watch tons of tv, like I said, if you think Paige & her family watching 3 hrs & then the tv she watches with her husband after that is excessive you haven't met excessive tv viewers until you stop by our apt! We also eat junk food daily. Does that make me better because I exercise? No. But maybe to you.


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