When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:20pm
So TV is okay, but herbs and natural remedies are not?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:21pm
Yes of course. Absolutely!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:21pm
I probably shouldn't ask, but why would that be? Drs. who hold their indecisive patients hands and tell them that cupcakes are fattening and that CSI is too violent are the drs. who graduate at the top of their classes? Do you research anything about your drs before going to them? What do you know of their educations and board certifications? From what college and medical school did your children's pediatrician graduate and what boards did he pass?

The absolute best drs. have little bedside manners whatsoever. I want a medical professional for a pediatrician who is a problem solver, not Oprah. Yuck, get a grip.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:23pm
LTB, audrey's DH is a pediatrician.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:24pm
Hey, maybe a good ol' fashioned dose of television would do the trick, ya think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:26pm
Oh, lordy. It's common knowledge. Just google it. Are you claiming pharmacy-prepared antibiotics are the same as i.v. antibiotics?

Perhaps you should ask your pediatrician the difference. She just might know, but I doubt it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:28pm
And whatever is your point??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:28pm
Um, no. My hubby & I don't think so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:28pm

Again, why don't you refresh the screen once in a while?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:29pm
I think they're a little nuts and insecure.

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