When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 4:34pm
ROFLOL!!!!! I suppose i need a man first though, huh?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 4:35pm
Your just mad because I don't agree with your point deary. You are the one said people are getting outraged in your post also. I was simply stating, I did't get outraged one little iota. Why should I? I don't give a crap about what you think about our tv habits, eating at 11pm, what we eat, how we do. Try again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 4:48pm
Actually, if you read my post, I said I wasnt speaking *just* to you. And if you arent outraged, why all the heated responses to people about the issue?

I'm certainly not *mad*. Amused, yes. Perplexed, a bit. But perhaps you could try actually responding to some of the issues and concerns I brought to light in my post. At least I explain WHY I feel the way I do. If you are going to just keep saying you *dont care* what anyone thinks, why are you even here on a debate board and why do you keep responding? Maybe you could explain your reasoning rather than just stomp your feet.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 4:51pm
Oh not necessarily my dear!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 4:59pm
{{handing DJ back her helmet}}

Thanks for letting me borrow it . . . looks like you might need it back for this next go round. :)

Avatar for sleepy916
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:01pm
I am just starting to weed through this monster thread again and came across your picture. Your son is adorable. And you don't look anything like a lawyer..hehe..just kidding. You look great too!

Tracy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:03pm
I've been on WW for over two years. I've been at goal weight for two months. I've never heard them say you shouldn't eat after 6pm, and I've never read it anywhere either. We usually have dinner between 5:30 and 6:30. I go to bed at 10, and am usually hungry for a small snack in the area of 8:30pm or so. So, I have my snack. I've done this since I started WW. Doesn't seem to be bothering me.

Jayme, mom to Johnathan (1/16/01) and Ethan (10/15/03)

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:24pm
And even if she had nursed him during dinner, what is wrong with that?

Jayme

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:31pm
No, but it would certainly be a logical assumption to make about someone who had attended MEDICAL SCHOOL (Post #847).

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:58pm
I did read it clearly. Heated responses? You think those are heated? Pfftt! No, that isn't being mad, hurt feelings, upset or even outrage. Glad you are amused. I don't care if you are, but that is nice. Not stomping my feet. What answers do you want? I don't see our lifestyle as bad or unilimited tv as a problem. It is how we live. What more can I say to you? I did tell you that I do exercise, take aerobics. What else can I really say? I don't see a problem with anything we are doing.

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