When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 9:58pm
Exactly. So how could you possibly give an infant what has not even been reviewed by the FDA as a minimum precaution!!

Edited to change "that" to "what."


Edited 8/17/2004 10:35 pm ET ET by luvthebabes

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:01pm
OMG, are you not aware that many herbs have been banned and taken off the shelves? Certainly the news stories about athletes killed taking herbal supplements after becoming overheated (with their body temps raised dangerously high) could not have escaped your attn?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:02pm
What does that have to do with anything? ARe you saying there are no excellent drs who've graduated from schools abroad?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:07pm
Yikes. Then I think that at a minimum you would've understood my earlier comment about intravenous antibiotics given an infant before age one is a completely different animal than giving oral (i.e., pharmacy prescribed) anti-biotics. <>

And you're the one "shocked" that drs. don't discuss videogames and sex with their completely healthy patients.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:07pm
Your post specifically stated that your cardiologist detected the problem. . .not a GP doing school physicals.

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:07pm
You don't see t.v. as something that should be limited? I have a question, just because I LOVE statistics... In what part of the country do you live?

Actually, I think t.v. should definately be limited. I have 3 small kids and they spend 90% of the day outside.... climbing, building, swinging, looking for worms and snakes and turtles.

Everyone is different of course I have some neighbors and family that could care less how much tv their kids watch. But then again the parents are a slugs themselves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:10pm
Considering the prevalence of STDs I'd say whether or not a teen is engaging in sex is MORE than just a parent/child issue.
Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:11pm
Thank God the GP raised a slim possiblity of a nebulous heart problem and then I paid the cardiologist for his "ear" and diagnosis.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:12pm
I admit I'm not a doctor, but oral antibiotics aren't PRESCRIBED by pharmacies.
Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:14pm

That is not what you originally stated. . .I can only respond to what is provided.

Virgo
 

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