When did structure become a bad thing?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am |
We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.
I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?
As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.
Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.
Susan

Pages
Sounds as if you just have issues with GPs and pediatricians. . .
While pediatricians may have limited knowledge in some areas. . .it's sure a hell of a lot more than I have when it comes to medicine.
Virgo
eileen
I did not realize your daughters were old enough to already be seeing an ob/gyn. I will rely on my ped's advice as to when that is necessary.
Since you're apparently so impressed with yourself, why haven't you told me in all of your ramblings what kind of dr. you are and how lovely it is that your employment allows so much internet time?
Why don't you fill out your user profile in case one of your patients or partners or employer wants to see your personal info?
I think the 'problem' here lies in what is defined as harmless and what isn't. . .
If a baby or one year old can't go for even short distances without getting car sick, there is obviously something medical going on.
I tried to give some clear and REAL reasons for my beliefs in regards to this issue, rather than just *this is how we live our lives and we dont care what you think*.
Do you even comprehend what a debate is?
If there is something you disagree with in my post, DEBATE it. REFUTE it. Explain why I am wrong. Why else are you on a debate board for goodness sake.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Like I said, *excessive* tv watching can cause these things. Do a little research if you don't believe it.
>>I like drs to treat only medical and health concerns. I like parents to resolve parental problems.<<
Me too. But some parents (i.e. those who let their child watch 6 hours of TV a day, as in your example) are ignorant as to what is best for their children and need a little guidance.
Regarding the tv thing.....
My dh is dyslexic. He watches tv, mostly documentaries, TLC, Discovery channel, etc. That's his way of getting information. Reading is work so he never reads the paper, magazines, books, etc. I used to think it was excessive, but for him it works. Fine.
I work in elementary schools. It's easy to pick out the kids who watch endless amounts of tv. Most don't like to be active, and are usually obssessed with a certain show/video game. They spend their lunch hour huddled in a corner with a game boy instead of playing. Everything they talk about, write about, dream about, is tv/video games. They panic when the power goes out. One child that I had last year was so addicted it was almost creepy. He could NOT entertain himself without something electronic in front of him.
TV for my own child? Yes, I limit it. I have learned that he's like dh (has an ld) so he'll likely watch as much as dh when he's older. I don't limit so much when it's educational (like discovery channel), as I do when it's fluff. What I do want is for him to be active, and the only way to accomplish that is to be active myself. So I turn off the tv and we both go outside. I am not a tv watcher, if ds and dh would let me, I could go without one altogether. Instead of the x-box or whatever, we spent the cash on roller blades, a bike, and outside toys.
Everything in moderation, I say....
Pages