When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 8:31am
"Do you see nothing untoward in a male pediatrician asking a young girl about sex when he knows she already sees an OB/GYN?" How very Victorian of you to say. Of course not. It's not idle curiosity, it's part of his or her job to take care of the whole patient (regardless of her mother's protests that she is a "sweet girl"). That includes obtaining information about her GYN history, or hopefully, lack thereof. If one waits until the patient already is pg or has a disease (ummm, including HIV) it's a little late to have a discussion about prevention. And you seem unaware that many STDs (and of course pg) have systemic effects that go way beyond GYN implications and may be communicable to others in ways which do not involve actual intercourse.

"And BTW few STDs have no symptoms in women. Some do." You say that as if it mattered. So fine, the GYN does Paps, have them done there and have the results mailed to the pediatrician, but don't be surprised that he asks and verifies information about their sexual history too. It is absolutely part of his job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 8:41am
"Are you claiming pharmacy-prepared antibiotics are the same as i.v. antibiotics?" Uh, the former are administered in ways other than intravenously? What the heck are you trying to say? You seem to be under the impression that pharmacists are akin to witch doctors or something, concocting antibiotic formulas out of their own imaginations and giving them willy-nilly to anyone who asks. Pharmacists are the PROFESSIONALS licensed to prepare the antibiotics and other drugs prescribed by doctors. In all cases, IV or oral or topical, drugs such as antibiotics are prescribed by physicians, prepared by the pharmacists at pharmaceutical corporations and dispensed (with or without further preparation at the retail or hospital pharmacy) by a pharmacist.

Edited for clarification.


Edited 8/18/2004 10:39 am ET ET by cocoapop

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:20am

She did it because of the degree of the adhesions and because she said it could cause erections to be painful.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:25am
Thank you for putting into words my confusion. . .I couldn't figure out what the heck she was insinuating.

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:32am
Tracy, thank you kindly for the compliments.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:33am
Pediatricians ARE specialists.

"We do not ask our pediatrician to tell us things we already know." I see very little evidence that you "already know" much of anything. Maybe if you didn't prefer docs with lousy bedside manners, you'd find that out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:34am
LOL!

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:38am
I'm not jealous.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:39am
I'll leave it to the medical doctors to tell us what's appropriately within the purview of the doctor/patient/ parent relationship.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:40am
Relax.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Pages