When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 11:12am
Have you said what this "heart problem" was and I missed it?

You do realize, I hope, that many heart problems are asymptomatic (including inaudible) for years, and depending on what this "heart problem" was, may have been undiscoverable by anyone, including this GP, until you reached the age at which this GP examined you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 11:26am

You know who detected my son's heart problem?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:00pm
Oh, I hear you! :)

{{big cyber hug to eileen}} I'm sure this is a rough time for you . . . I'm sending good thoughts and vibes your way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:03pm
Yes. I totally agree. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is letting them use, as well as, encouraging their imagination

<<<>>> So few people can do it. It really is a gift to give him.



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:21pm
Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:26pm
What the heck is "pharmacy-prescribed antibiotics?" You do know that a *pharmacist* can't prescribe antibiotics, right -- even the *oral* ones.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:27pm
Again, thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:30pm


You sure are living under a rock if you're asking this question. Have you ever heard of HIV? STDs? PREGNANCY? LOL!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:32pm
First of all, I never encouraged putting doctors on a pedestal. In fact, I was taking the ones that you consider to be "good" OFF the pedestal.

Second of all, you must be running out of things to say because you've resorted to the lame old "you're spending too much time on the message board." It's really pathetic.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 1:39pm
It is the doctor's job to ask such questions. What teenage girl is going to volunteer that information? It is a part of the medical exam that is just as necessary as asking other questions regarding the patient's medical history.

Upon my first visit with a new GP when I was 16 (more years ago than I care to share!) the GP simply asked if I were sexually active (along with other questions regarding my medical history). I blushed and (truthfully) said "No." He made a note in his chart and moved on. I don't think there was anything particularly perverted about that. Oh, he also gave me a breast exam to check for lumps. Was that perverted too? (I didn't go to an OB/GYN until I was 18.)

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