When did structure become a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
When did structure become a bad thing?
1698
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:19am
I am reading the thread about freewheeling nannies below and I hafta say, I just don't get this whole no structure thing. My kids have always thrived on structure. THey liked the predictablity of when things were going to happen. Sure, it has not been a problem to deviate, but what I am reading in some posts is that no structure at all seems to be looked on as optimal, while imposing structure to a child's life is viewed as bad parenting.

We used to live next door to a "no structure" family. The kids ran wild in the neighborhood, the mom never planned dinner so lord only knows if and when the kids ate. Sorry, I don't think that's a good way to live. My kids know we eat dinner at 6:30, so they have to be home.

I can see taht you wouldn't demand that an infant go to bed and wake up at precisely the same time, but is there ever a time to impose structure on a child? So lets say you are the freewheeling type and have always doen things whenever. What happens when you send your child to school where the bell rings at the same time every day?

As far as activities, I realize all kids are different, but when my kids were little, if we just did whatever, whenever, my kids woudl end up grumpy and overtired. My experience is that if say, we were at the beach and I say, oh heck, let's just stay later, the kids woudl be happy at first, but by the days end I would end up with whiny, overtired kids.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I am reading, but I personally think structure is a good thing. When children are small, the structure includes naptimes, mealtimes, etc. As they get older it evolves into boundaries like "be home at 6 for dinner" or "you can't go into soemones house without telling me first". I couldn't imagine living without structure or boundaries for my kids.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:24pm
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! And here I thought you'd lost the ability to be funny.

ALL drugs are "pharmacy prepared"; that's what pharmacy MEANS.

phar·ma·cy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (f��rm-s)

n. pl. phar·ma·cies

The art of preparing and dispensing drugs.

A place where drugs are sold; a drugstore. Also called apothecary.


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Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

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phar·ma·cy (färm-s)

n.

The art of preparing and dispensing drugs.

A place where drugs are sold; a drugstore. Also called apothecary.


Source: The American Heritage® Stedman's Medical Dictionary

Copyright © 2002, 2001, 1995 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company.

*********************************************

Main Entry: phar·ma·cy

Pronunciation: 'fär-m&-sE

Function: noun

Inflected Form: plural -cies

1 : the art, practice, or profession of preparing, preserving, compounding, and dispensing medical drugs

2 a : a place where medicines are compounded or dispensed b : DRUGSTORE

3 : PHARMACOPOEIA 2


Source: Merriam-Webster Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

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pharmacy

\Phar"ma*cy\, n. 1. The art or practice of preparing and preserving drugs, and of compounding and dispensing medicines according to prescriptions of physicians; the occupation of an apothecary or a pharmaceutical chemist.

2. A place where medicines are compounded; a drug store; an apothecary's shop.




Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

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pharmacy

n 1: the art and science of preparing and dispensing drugs and medicines, 2: a retail shop where medicine and other articles are sold


Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University

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Hope you wore tasty shoes today, cuz you've placed your feet firmly in your mouth.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:28pm
Oh, you'll remember ... believe me ...


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:30pm
Oh don't sweat it; lots of people think we were married. Heck, even one of his nieces recently said something about "after your divorce"; John's stepmom just patted her on the shoulder (when she got all embarrassed) and said, "they might as well have been married."

And then she told the story how at the ex's recent national family reunion when the family tree was read outloud (doesn't THAT sound like a swinging time????) they said he was first married to me and then to her. Heck if his wife is cool with the misunderstandings, I guess it's okay :)

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:33pm
<>

Suggesting? How much more clear do I have to be? You need pictures and a diagram?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:33pm
She might come across that way to some, but certainly not in general.

Let's all drop the name calling and move on, shall we?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:35pm
Welcome back. You've been greatly missed.

Specifically what about your DS's home and school life was relevant to finding and solving the problem? For me, the cardioligist may have been somewhat interested (I can't remember) that playing school sports exacerbated the pounding of my heart and I'd asked several times for the coach to take me out so I could rest. My cardiologist could care less what videogames I played or what tv shows I watched or the title of the play I was in. These extremely irrelevant tidbits were at issue here in this debate - I don't need a dr. to hold my hand and be my friend. I have friends. I needed someone who was extremely intelligent and knew hearts.

If, as you mentioned, the problem is that your pediatrician rushes you through visits, that's a huge problem and you're the only one who can slow him down. But discussing all of your DS's report cards, class photos and soccer trophies would never change that your pediatrician failed in a big way to simply use his stethoscope properly or his other objective powers of unveiling heart problems properly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:35pm
Nope sorry. I see nothing catty about calling someone on their belief that a sedetary lifestyle with lots of junk food and lots of tv is *healthy*. I stand by that, and will continue to do so.

I made absolutely NO apology to paige or coconut because I dont see that there is anything to apologize for. My apology below wasnt even for anything *I* said to ANYONE-just that there was no intent by me to imply that I was putting down people who were overweight-I never commented on anyones weight, other than to say physical appearance doesnt always correctly convey the health of the person, and that being too thin was just as bad as being too heavy.

If you think it is *catty* to defend one's position in a debate, again I ask-do you understand what a debate is????

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:41pm
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for letting me know!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:42pm

You know, I have a mitral valve prolapse with reflux. The only reason it was diagnosed was because the doctor always took chest x-rays at physicals. He took one and my heart was slightly enlarged on one side. He sent me to a cardiologist and I was diagnosed.


My heart does not have a murmur nor does it skip a beat. On a stethoscope, it sounds normal. In fact, I use it as a baseline for a good doctor now. If he reviews my chart then listens to my heart and says, "Oh yes. I can hear the murmur." I am out of there.


It was blind luck that it was found. I have no symptoms. I do have to take antibiotics before any procedure including cleaning my teeth.


Your tone is a wee bit catty for one that just accused another poster of being catty.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:49pm
No, I didn't go into the particular problem. Mine was congenital and a good dr should pick it up on an in utero sonogram (nowadays) or, in my case, at birth with a stethoscope.

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