When the hypothetical becomes reality
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|Thu, 06-12-2003 - 7:46am|
I recently discovered a fairly serious health problem (or likely problem), and it's nice to know that when you know you're doing the right thing that you don't have to play the "what if" game. If it feels right to you, it's right.
If I had sah all those years, I would be in a huge mess right now. If I had worked days and used daycare, I would regret that I spent my days at work instead of with ds. I'll be here in the future :-), but that future won't be as healthy as I thought it would be. What I'll be able to do might be very different from what I planned.
Someone on one of these debate boards said that marrying an older man was distasteful, because she couldn't imagine being 60 and caring for an 80 yr old husband. And here I am, very likely to be the less healthy of the two of us in 15- 20 yrs. So much for that theory. It's about love.
And, again, I don't fit the studies. lol
Others on this board have said that working 3rd shift to avoid daycare and be able to be with ds during the day was selfish, stupid or
both. They claimed that I couldn't have been a good parent while working nights. To them I say,don't knock it until you've tried it. We all have different abilities and ideas of what's important in raising our kids. Being at home is very important to me. You insult me when you claim that that is either selfish or stupid, or that I was a lousy mother.
I did a pretty damned good job raising my really good teen. DH and I have a great marriage after 17 yrs, and there is no thought of divorce or even of dissatisfaction with each other because of age,or anything else for that matter.
So, debate on. But remember that when you make rude and insulting comments about others lives, those people are real.
My horizons are being broadened by real life again, unfortunately this time.
I hope that this post will broaden yours as well. If you've criticized another poster's
choices because you can't understand them or because you think you know they're wrong or stupid, stop and really think.
It could just be that you're missing a horizon-broadening lesson. Maybe treating other posters as fellow students in the school of sah vs woh will help you see the other side without some much prejudice. Examining and really learning about the "minority" sah/woh situations represented by the "students" here will broaden your horizons. Criticizing might be fun, but it gets you nowhere.