Where Does it Come From?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Where Does it Come From?
822
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 6:34pm
You know, that exalted, idealized "Mother & Child" image that can make a new mom so enthralled?

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 9:23am

We have a cleaning service and a teenager who cuts the lawn.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 10:17am
That's sad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 10:23am
IYO. That's your right.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 10:31am

However, hiring someone to do the more contentious chores can help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 10:52am

I'm not being judgemental. I just find it sad that you were never around people that didn't have all of those traits. I honestly feel bad for you.

It wouldn't bother me if you called my working at night "sad". It works for me and my family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 11:00am

"I honestly feel bad for you."


Ok, duly noted.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 11:02am
Cute.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 12:11pm

>I sah, dh works. Neither of us like to clean....solution....cleaning lady. Dh dislikes mowing the lawn(as much as I dislike cleaning) solution....lawn man.

Same here. I can honestly say we don't have chore wars here. The cleaning service and lawn service take care of a lot. We split up the other stuff. DH does most of the pre-cleaning service picking up. He does most of the dinner dishes, all the trash and recycling. I do all the laundry and most of the cooking, although he cooks a lot on weekends. If I need help with something, I just ask and he does it.

I saw first hand how little SAH/WOH had to do with anything. My mom did both at different points and I didn't see my dad's helpfulness increase at ALL when my mother went back to work. (What finally did help was retirement- now, after 40+ years of marriage, I see my dad voluntarily get out the vacuum! I was not willing to wait that long so I picked a guy with good domestic skills.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 1:03pm

When I talk about chores i guess I mean cleaning. I don't mind helping my kids with homework(neither does dh) garbage is taken care of by the garbage man. Planning food menus I don't do. I know what we like and I buy it. We also usually have a friday pizza night and go out on Saturday. So that really only leaves five days for cooking. Sunday is a "family dinner" and Tues and Thursday are usually crock pot or make ahead dinners because we're at the barn.(sometimes my cleaning lady will even throw stuff in the crock pot for us)

As for cleaning up....I pick up after myself and my youngest. My daughter and my dh pick up after themselves. I sometimes have to do a little...but not much. Laundry, I do, but the cleaning lady does the beds and sheets.

So really with our cleaning lady and with what my family has learned to do around here...I don't feel that there's an overwhelming amount of stuff left to do to fight about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 1:11pm

Who cooks?

I do, I'm home.

Who cleans up after dinner ?
Everyone clear their plates and I do the rest.

and between visits of your cleaning lady?
We each pick up after ourselves...so there really not much mess. PLUS I'm home during the day...so I have time to do stuff here and there.

Who does all the weekly laundry?

The dry cleaner picks up dh's stuff every friday.
I throw in a load or two of wash. Once it's dry it goes into that person's basket in the laundry room. After school dd puts her's away. Dh will put his away if he's home. If not I do because his is just really socks and underwear and maybe jeans. Ds can carry his little basket upstairs by himself....sometimes dd helps him put his away..sometimes I do.
Laundry realy isn't a big deal here.

Who pays the bills?
I do...but the majority of them are automated.

Who grocery shops?
I shop. Once a week.

Who makes the routine doctor and dentist appointments?
My kids go to the dentist twice a year. So it's really not that big of a deal. My kids usually only see the doctor for well checkups. My dd hasn't been sick in two years. My son never say the Dr at all last cold season.

Who schedules the childrens' outside activities?
I'm in charge of activities....why, because I'm home.

Who buys presents?
I order them online or buy them while I'm shopping.

I guess maybe we're weird....but I just don't see what all the fuss is about....but then again my dh does tend to help out..so maybe that's the difference.

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