Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 12:30am
But if your WOH would benefit your kids, why deny them the benefit?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 12:31am
I have no idea whether she is or isn't. Some are and some aren't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 12:32am
Then more would not benefit their kids. I don't see why mom wouldn't work if working would benefit her kids. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I can understand not working if it's not a benefit. It's the not working when working WOULD be a benefit I don't get.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 12:33am
Uh, yes. Some are not capable of making enough to make a difference. What's the issue here. Either mom working would make a difference or it wouldn''t. Some can make a difference for their kids by working and some can't. No, I don't understand why a mom who could make a difference for her kids by working wouldn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 12:34am
Then moms working wouldn't make a difference, would it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 12:35am
No, I'm saying that the act of being home doesn't accomplish anything. It's not where you are but rather what you do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:02am
Depends on what differences you value. I could go out and make $60,000 a year, I suppose, but I don't value what that affords me. Maybe it means I drive a Toyota Sequoia rather than my 1996 Dodge minivan. Maybe it means we take our family vacation in the south of France rather than the funky non-touristy resort we like in Puerto Vallarta. Maybe it means I hire a college professor with a PhD to tutor my kid in Latin rather than the SAHM down the street who merely has her Master's. Maybe it means we send our kids to the yatch club for sailing lessons instead of dinking around in our 20 year old canoe half the day. Maybe it means we send our kids to the special academic camp at Northwestern instead of the lower-key, less prestigious camp here in our own school district. Those are all upgrades that we could purchase with another salary, not insignificant upgrades. So working would make a difference but not a difference we would choose.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:40am
Then you totally and completely missed the point of this subthread. No one said the act of being home did ANYTHING. I said I did NOT want my dd coming home to an empty house, and that being home when she got home from school meant that she would NOT be alone for 2-3 hrs a day. What about that is SO difficult for you to grasp??????????

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:42am
No, plenty are *capable*. Thats a slam and you know it. If there is enough money in the home already however, there is likely to be NO NEED of 2 wohps in the household. Being capable and choosing something else is completely different than being INcapable. And there are plenty of very capable moms who make differences in ways other than money.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:44am
But why would you assume that more money would benefit them?

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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