Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:31pm
Thanks for posting this. I was trying to decide if I wanted to bother. I have to laugh at the assertion that I SAHM because I couldn't make enough of a financial impact if I WOH. I made half again as much as dh when I quit...it sure did make an impact on our finances. We just put more of a value on the ways I can contribute as a SAH. Just because they're primarily intangible doesn't mean they don't matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:39pm
Thanks very much.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:42pm
I agree with most of your post, but just because one spouse is making $100K doesn't mean that any additional income from a second spouse's work doesn't make a difference.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 1:42pm

Yes I can understand your frustration.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 2:00pm
Oh I do agree with that. But that is also why I have said repeatedly that one cannot say that woh has an inherent benefit by bringing more money to the family. Its not an inherent benefit until one looks at the individual situation.

100k here isnt that much (as I am sure its not where you live either!). We make a bit more than that, and my puny little income is what has made things like trips to Europe, dinners out, buying myself a $100 pair of clogs if I feel like it, dh taking a day off to goof around (like today-hes driving me nuts already, LOL), possible. I do think that even a small additional income can sometimes make a fairly significant difference in a family's lifestyle, but again, one just cannot use it as a blanket statement, or call it an across the board benefit, without looking at the individual family. It wouldnt have been a benefit to us when my son was an infant, or when we were going through all the strife with dd and her abandonment issues. But its a benefit NOW, with both my kids older and stable.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 2:04pm
Yup, I really think so. Maybe because *I've been doing it* for 10+ years.

<> Maybe you can't imagine it, but what does that mean? I'm living it. Believe me, we have LOTS of down time and family time. Just because *you* can't do it doesn't mean others can't.

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 2:51pm
You are a good person, Sue.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 3:01pm
Good grief woman. WHERE did I say it was an ABSOLUTE!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 3:02pm
LOL, then they aren't capable of making enough to make a difference. I am speaking english here, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 3:10pm
No, they are capable of making *enough*, it just might not be NEEDED income. You cannot say someone is not CAPABLE of making ENOUGH money when they are. Someone being capable means that they *have the ability*. It doesnt mean they ACT on that ability. A person might be capable of going out tomorrow and securing a 6 figure income. A person might be capable of stepping in if the other spouse lost their job and getting a job that made good money. Just because they are CAPABLE of earning a specific income, does not necessarily mean they choose to do it.

dj


Edited 12/30/2003 4:22:22 PM ET by djknappsak

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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