Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 9:44pm
Again, saying that the income she is capable of generating will not make a difference to the family and saying that she is NOT capable of generating ENOUGH income are 2 different things. She could be perfectly capable of generating a high income, but it may not be NEEDED for her family.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 9:45pm
Actually, you are the one who keeps arguing a point that isnt there. Give it up already.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 9:47pm

I have been trying to follow this thread and I get what you are saying here Slim....but, you knew there was going to be one right?


But...while I understand that it would be great to have a sahp doing all the cleaning, shopping, errands, cooking, shuttling of kids and etc...I don't want that person to be just me.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 10:10pm
Awww thanks lady.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 10:22pm
We do those things a lot. But not every day. *Why* do you have to do them every day? Ever hear of a yard, a swingset, touch football in the back yard, hide and seek, man hunt, Monopoly, riding bikes, skateboarding, rollerblading? Why must a child *do* something or *go* somewhere *every day?* That's just ridiculous. Life is not a party every day. Kids need to learn to just play and be with other kids without having to trek somewhere to do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 10:41pm
Look, if you're going to tell me that you have time to do all the things a sahm does everyday, then who am I to argue with you? I guess I'm just incompetent.

Maybe things are different in Europe. When I woorked fulltime, I never got home before 6:00. The average commute in this area is 50 minutes one way, so on top of a minimum 8 hour work day, add almost 2 hours for commuting.

I'm not going to get into a stupid "Oh yes, I can do it all no problem" argument. If I had the same job I had pre-children, no way would I ever be able to go to the park, beach museum, etc. on a workday. And the weekends would just be spent playing catch-up with grocery shopping, errands and laundry. (no, I did not have the kind of job that allowed me to grocery shop during the workday, or even run errands during lunch. Many lunches were with clients).

Show me an American who is home at 3:00 every day and I'll show you a part-timer or a teacher, like Eileen. I consider teaching a part time job anyway. I know the hours and number of days they work, it's nothing like what I used to work, that's for sure.

So okay, I'm wrong. It's completely reasonable to do everything a sahm does, plus have loads of free time, leisure time, etc., when you're working fulltime. Every wohm I know picks up the kids at 3:00 pm and sets off for a fun-filled afternoon in the park. Right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 10:42pm
Oh no, dont try to change your song and dance now. You say that wohm is *always* a benefit unless the child in question is special needs. That wohm is *always* a benefit over sah because it brings in more money. You cannot suddenly say *IF* woh was a benefit. We've already clarified that it depends on the family in question, that there is NO INHERENT benefit to EITHER choice. You simply have to take it on a case by case basis. No blanket statements work here.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 10:55pm
I can't speak for all sahp's, but yes, I absolutely, posivtively, REALLY did those things EVERY DAY. I was a member of the Maritime Center aquarium, I went to 2 story hours at 2 different libraries, My kids were in 3 playgroups, we went to the Peabody, the Met, the Natural History Museum, the Science Museum, the children's museum, they went to preschool, every tuesday was chinese food day, I picked them up from nursery school and we went to Little Kitchen on Main. In summer, we went to the beach or lake EVERY DAY. The rest of the time we went to the playground EVERY DAY

What do you think we did, stayed at home?????????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 10:58pm
I'm not going to repeat myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 11:06pm
Your work schedule is hardly one to measure most fulltime positions by, I know what kind of hours are involved in an experienced teachers job and trust me, compared to what I used to do, it's part time. No offense, but it's a light schedule. YOU have free time, but someone working 9-6 all year round with a 2 hour commute does not.

I always thought weekends at the beach were for the poor slobs who couldn't go during the week and beat the crowds (oooohhhh, just wait until they hear that one, I'm ducking now).

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