Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 1:22am
No, it just results in them going elsewhere. At least it did when I was growing up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 1:24am
Yes. If dh made enough, my income wouldn't matter and I woudln't be capable of making enough to matter. At least not legally, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 1:26am
No, I'm not, lol. It's either a benefit or it's not. I made no attempt to say when it is or when it isn't. However, I do not understand moms who know their working would be a benefit to their families who choose not to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 2:17am
Way late here, someone probably already answered but I will anyways.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 2:43am
"However, I do not understand moms who know their working would be a benefit to their families who choose not to work."

Because for their family's particular situation, there may be more important benefits to be gained by having a SAHP. It really is that simple.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 2:52am
Well, it sounds as though your need to be on the move all the time was well matched by your children's interests. My kids would have gone crazy on a schedule like: they liked having a least a few days of "down" time at home every week. Whenever I did book us up that much, they were exhausted, cranky and begging to just go home.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 3:06am
I can well imagine that with the kind of full time job you had and your long commute you would have had a very hard time doing stuff with your kids in the afternoon. But you didn't exactly qualify your original post with those caveats...you made a pretty blanket statement about all WOHPs. Even in the U.S., not everyone has an hour commute every day and plenty of people have flex-time or different kinds of working hours. Perhaps even more to the point, plenty of people have spouses who can, and do, share a great deal of the work with the kids and the house making it more possible for the other to have free time to spend with the kids.

"Show me an American who is home at 3:00 every day and I'll show you a part-timer or a teacher, like Eileen."

Really?? You are really that unaware of the myriad of different types of working hours and schedules that exist, even in the U.S.? I'll give you just one example of how it is possible for a ft WOHP to be home by 3: there is a car factory that I know of in California that has a lot to do with the East Coast, so everyone who works on the business side (managers, secretaries, accountants, clerks...literally everyone not on the factory floor) is required to work on East Coast hours. That means that the normal working hours are from 6am to 2:30pm (extra half-hour for lunch). Even assuming a 30 minute commute, the kids would be picked up by 3pm. Of course, those people needed someone (usually spouse) to take care of the kids in the early morning. I don't so much see myself as having an extraordinary schedule as having a spouse who equally contributes to the care of our children and housework...and by doing so, makes it more possible for me to have free time with the kids, even during the week.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 5:55am
But, we like our tax base, ey Sue???!!!

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 8:14am

I think you just desire and/or need a lot more leisure time than a lot of us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 8:31am
No, I won't do those kinds of things on weekends, I got too spoiled from ever having to put up with crowds all those years. I won't even go to the grocery store on the weekend.

The beach is only 10 minutes away, we can go for a quick trip on a school day, or dh likes to go after 4:00 on a weekend when the crowds are gone. He can't stay for more than an hour anyway, he's too antsy.

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