Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
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Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
| Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am |
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.
Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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some parents have few choices. a single parent with little education and only experience working in low-skill jobs has far less flexibility than a married parent whose dh earns a high salary and who has education and experience that suit high-skill work, because the former is less likely to have paid time off and is more likely to be considered easily replaced, and the latter (a category that i believe you've frequently and adamantly said you are in) would have more options both with a current and in looking for another employment situation.
i know several people who are home around 3:00 every day who aren't teachers or part-timers. cutting lunch hours, buying a house with commute in mind, staggering shifts, telecommuting a few hours a week--there are a number of ways to manage that kind of shift, especially for people with your education and experience. maybe you wouldn't have been able to manage all that in "the same job had pre-children," but that doesn't mean that you wouldn't have been able to manage it if you'd tried to.
I will give you an example.
We are comfortable. Nice house, new cars, vacations, dinners out, housekeeper, lawn service, nice clothes, college funds, retirement savings, etc. But we are NOT super wealthy so we do not have an unlimited amount of money. There are simply things we cannot afford. But there is nothing that I really want for myself or my family that I do not have. I do not see how me going back to work would benefit our family.
However, I have a friend who is in a similar financial situation and she is going back to work because she wants to purchase a second home. AHA! She sees benefit where I don't. So 2 similarly situated individuals each see the same situation differently. I don't see going back to work for a second home as benefiting my family. SHE does.
Can you see how YOU can't say what would be a benfit for other people? Only THEY can say that.
Jenna
The Science museum is in Boston, the Peabody is in New Haven and most of our museum trips when they were very young were to the Museum of Natural history in manhattan. Preschoolers love it. As far as the Met, it has an incredible Egyptian and Armory exhibit that even young children love. We also went to the Intrepid Air and Space museum quite often, something else enjoyed by the very young We skipped the paintings, no my children aren't some sort of prodigies. I only went to the Bronx once on free day, that was enough. It's worth it to pay, but if you can't afford it there are options.
Don't underestimate your kids or their appreciation for museums. Better to start them young. No one is saying you have to do those things with your children, if you want to limit their horizons that's your prerogative.
I'm substitute teaching now, something very different then what I used to do. I will never work fulltime again. Not as long as I have a choice.
I wonder why I read about all this second shift nonsense, and about how exhausting it is to be a working mom. I guess everyone's blowing smoke. Why all the complaints? Even p&j wants credit for doing everything a working mom has to do, but then she turns around and says she has plenty of leisure time.
You can't have it both ways.
BTW, my sister does it, and SHE thinks it's exhausting. Maybe she should give you a call and you can tell her how easy it is, okay?
Edited 12/31/2003 10:49:04 AM ET by islimshady
I guess I am lucky I live my life then, because I can't imagine doing everything by myself, even if I did sah.
PumpkinAngel
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