Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 7:59pm

Hey you HAVE a beach....the best I can do is to take a trip down to the landing and watch the muddy Mississippi go slowly by and what ever happens to be floating in it.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 8:35pm
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Not at my job, it doesn't. At my job, full time is 37.5 hours a day and THEY occur from 11pm to 7am. Which leaves PLENTY of time to visit museums, parks and the library. And I know for a fact, I'm not the only person in the US with fewer than 40 hours counting full time, who work nights..

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Oh well.

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Nope, I just don't work days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 9:53pm
I dont go to the grocery store, period.
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 10:25pm
Well, yeah, a lot of it IS about me. *I* want to take my kids to the park, grocery shopping, to the beach, etc. I personally don't want to hear about their day from someone else. And if they're in a daycare, how many times do all the kids in a daycare go to the park or the beach together? (Granted, I'm unfamiliar with daycares...) Do they go to the movies? My kids would have been in different rooms in a daycare because of their ages so I'm not sure how much they'd even have seen of EACH OTHER during the day. That's just out of the question to me.

I like the fact that my kids know the people at my doctor's office and the market. I like having the "opportunity" to do what we want on the days we're home. I like not having to cram it all in to the weekend when, sometimes, DH and I just want to "hang out."

Yes, a lot of my wanting to SAH is about me -- My wanting to spend time with my kids, My wanting to be the one to take them to the beach on a day we don't have to drive around for 20 minutes to find a parking spot, My having peace of mind that they're safe.

I'm not sure if my SAH will make them better people, smarter or richer. At this point, that's not my goal. My goal (only because we can afford it, mind you) is to spend as much time as I can with them. (In a few years, I hear they won't want to be seen with me. lol)

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 10:33pm
The key phrase in your post: <<...working only creates a situation that is very different when either or both parents are frequently uninvolved as a result of work demands or by choice.>>

Um, yeah, that's what she's talking about. If I worked full time, I wouldn't be home at 4:00 each day and neither would DH. And neither of us would be home all summer. Can't you see that your situation is not what I consider the norm, and therefore, not what she's referring to???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 12:15am
hey, now....we don't have much of a choice to take what we're given and work with it, LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 12:16am
of course, you're also both welcome to come visit me in CT:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 12:17am
Online grocery shopping with DELIVERY -- ahhhh, NO MORE grocery store!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 12:22am
thank you. said just like the daughter of a teacher! and, as a teacher, i can tell you that you're right on the money. i can't even calculate HOW MANY hours beyond my actual work day that i'm still working....

in fact, even this summer, i drove up to Boston for a training session for a digital microscope (i had gotten a grant for the microscope and the training)...2 hours to drive up, 4 hours to drive home (traffic, nasty storm) and 1.5 hours for the training...and no, i wasn't paid for my time at all.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 12:26am
is everything okay with you? you seem awfully on-edge tonight and much more critical than usual. Honestly, i've followed much of this thread and haven't seen any one say anything like these: how terrible sahms are to take their kids out places,or how the childhood memories their kids have must be wrong.

in fact, without looking back at the thread, the gist of it is that there are plenty of opportunities for wohms to do all of those fun activities with their kids that sahms do -- WHY in the world would that bother you if the end result is to have fun with your kids?

eileen

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