Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 10:30am
"Oh, and as far as the downtime thing and kids, I think it depends on the child. I have (had) to active, high energy boys. No such thing as downtime for them they had to be on the go, all the time."

But I absolutely agree with this! Believe me, I know those kinds of kids....friends of mine have kids with that level of energy :-). My point was that not every child wants or enjoys being taken to a different place every day, it is very personality dependent. Ds was the kind of child who was described as "placid" throughout his babyhood and toddlerhood. Even as a two year old, he could happily spend hours sitting on the floor working with toys and puzzles. I usually had to drag him out to the park against his will because I had the bizarre idea that daily fresh air is good for the body and soul :-). 1-2 playgroups per week and 1-2 major outings per week were about all he could handle...he just needed veg time at home and still does. Dd is more high energy than he is, but this is still just relative :-). We have weekly swimming and piano lessons in the afternoons and I try to plan at least one other outing or playdate per week, but that is about as much as they can handle...especially with the growing amount of homework ds is getting now.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 10:33am
Yes, you did. Your OP on this subthread stated

"Honestly, to insinuate that a family with 2 wohps has as much time as a family with a sahp, and can accomplish everything from staying home with a sick child, to cleaning the house, to hanging around for repairmen with the same ease is just plain absurd."

That sounded pretty universal to me. A "family with 2 WOHPs" made a great big generalization about millions of people.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:17am
Oh yes, now you're talking about something else than H&I's insinuation that I said having a sahp was better for everyone. That is what I never said.

Yes, I absolutely stand by my statement that a family with 1 fulltime wohp has more free time than a family with 2 fulltime wohp's.

How can anyone dispute that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:22am
I don't doubt that, that's why I never tok issue with you. That other poster (I can't even remember her name), went on and on about how tiring and awful it must have been for my kids to be on the go all the time. How could anyone say that without knowing my kids? Trust me, staying home and trying to implement some kind of downtime would have been exhausting. The only time my kids stopped moving is when they were asleep.

I've seen those other kinds of kids, the ones who would sit on the floor with a little toy, barely moving, content to just look at it a bit. I always wished I had one too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:24am
Easily. Try reading through the thread again, up to the point where you tell me that your situation is different from everyone else's, etc. yada yada yada.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:26am
Yeah, I would have definitely kept up with it if someone were home all the time, it would have been a big timesaver. You had to schedule delivery a day or 2 ahead of time, and inevitably something would come up where I couldn't be home waiting for them. For me it got to be a hassle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:35am
No, my situation is different from yours, or laura's (both of them), or some people's but different from everyone's? Uh-huh. It's pretty much the norm for where I live in terms of people's work hours, so it's hardly unique.

Look, you've told me over and over again how glad you are that you don't live my life, is that supposed to make me feel badly? Don't shed any tears for me H&I, I don't have it that bad, really. I'll let you in on a little secret, when I was a little girl I never dreamed of living your life, so I guess we all got the lives we wanted, and we're living our ideals. That's a good thing, in case you were wondering. I guess we should be thankful for how very lucky we are that we are living the lives we always hoped for, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:52am
I haven't been around teachers? LOL, my sil AND mil are/were teachers and I'm in the school with teachers everyday. Notice I said EXPERIENCED teachers, meaning they have their lesson plans down pat, and only have to tweak them. Our high school teachers get 3 on periods and 3 free periods every day. There is no need to grade papers at night, they have plenty of time during the day. Most also offer only one day of extra help so come 2:10, they're out of there.

Trust me when my sil herself, who makes 85K BTW, tells me that it's one of the easiest jobs out there. She has a 6th year and a masters, and yeah she takes an occasional seminar but big woo, when I was an SE I sometimes pulled all-nighters or went to 2 week training sessions which lasted well into the evening, for which I of course got no overtime so spare me the lecture. I know whose working how many hours, and teachers have a light schedule in comparison to my former career and to my dh's, and my BIL's. Not even close.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:59am
whatever. i still think/know that there are plenty of teachers beyond those whom you know (yes, even veteran teachers), who put in more time than you think.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 12:03pm
Maybe so, but they don't put in nearly the time required of other professions. You yourself are always saying how you only work 184 days a year, am I right?

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