Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 9:03pm
ITA! Anything that gets me out of the office and away from my desk during the work day is a welcome "break" to me. We've got a lunch room in the office where most people eat but I'd much rather get out . . . I get kind of tired looking at the same faces all day. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 9:13pm
>>And many of the "stuffed shirts" slim is referring to choose to work long hours to boost their own egos allowing them to have something to talk about.<<

Absolutely! I used to work with a lot of those types . . . they'd love to brag about how many hours they'd billed for the month. Never mind the fact that their marriage was in shambles, they were overweight and unhealthy and their kids hadn't spent quality time with them in weeks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 10:26pm
Im not trying to be ugly, but there are as many slacker execs as there are teachers, and i dont know they can even be compared. they are two seperate mindsets. with that said, i do work with many very professional execs who work 8-5 and get more accomplished than the hoity-toity stuffed shirts. they insist everyone work reasonable hours so as not to get "burnt out". i do believe a hard driving teacher earns every bit of their summer vacation, as there are no "business lunches", or lets just say "perks" that go along with the job *other* than the summer off.

its all relative.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 3:52am
I know my mom works her a$$ off... plus, when you think about it, every time they increase your class sizes, it is essentially a paycut.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 6:32am
"Oh good grief! You really can't grasp this point can you? It wouldn't have mattered one scrap for my family if I could have quadrupled our family income by working at the time I ended up SAH, it still was better for me to be willing to SAH because there were other more pressing reasons for making that choice. I honestly can't believe we are the ONLY family in the world to come to the realisation that there were more important issues than money that dictated our choices in this matter.

Laura "

No, you aren't the only family. My DH and I agreed before our son was even born that I would SAH. We both came from WOHMs and we decided that we wanted the kids to be with one parent or the other. Would we benefit financially right now if I WOH? Yes, but that would come at a cost to the kids. My kids wouldn't benefit from DC (my 5 yo. has made that plainly clear). So right now we can't afford new cars or alot of frills, but being home with my kids far outweighs any of the 'material' stuff.

Not every decision is based on finances. Sometimes families base their decision on what THEY feel will benefit the children (and family).

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 8:49am

This validates my theory that moms do factor in how their own mothers felt about work status.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 8:51am
I'm not jealous because there's nothing our nanny does with the boys that we don't do also (except walk her dog LOL).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 8:53am

"What is the point of bullying women into working ft if they don't want/need to ,or making snide comments anout their marriage or kids or earning capacity?"


I don't want anyone to woh if they don't need or want to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 8:58am
Not at all difficult to imagine. The poster in question has no husband and a 22 year old son who is engaged to be married and probably isn't spending a whole lot of time with her.

It's a little different than a mom with dependant children and a husband to spend time with. I'd venture to guess that she could work another 10 hours a week and still have more free time than anyone on this board.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 8:58am
Then they're probably not teaching elementary school like my mom did for 32 years. Hardly and "easy" job. And maybe your mil and sil are just skating by. My mom never had 3 periods of free time a day. What a crock.

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