Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 8:59am

"We don't all have those nice little 8-4 jobs with the 15 minute commutes that everyone here keeps telling me about, not if we want the same level of career and income."


Not all people want the same level of "career and income."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:02am
Oh yes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:03am
From whose perspective in the family?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:04am
O my gosh... That's a funny question and one that I argue with my husband all the time. My husband doesn't have a degree. He has worked his way up through the ranks from dressing maniquens in a store window for 6 bucks and hour, to Heading the entire Merchandising division of a corporation as the Vice President of Merchandising.

My husband has worked Megga, Megga, Megga hours. He is dedicated and hard working. But....

Not one time through the years has he ever had to take time off of work to take a child to the doctor.

Not once through the years did I complain about the hours that he was working.

And...

In the early years when he made almost nothing, I started a daycare in the home and made sure that we could keep food on the table while he worked out of the home and worked his way up.

I have sit and listened to him talk endlessly of the problems he has at worked. I have let him use me as a sounding board. I have often given advice on how to handle things. He has sometimes used my wording or even had me help him write difficult memos. Mostly he figures everything out on his own, but using me as a sounding board keeps him from going off at work when things are tough.

My husband doesn't agree, but I believe that we are making the big bucks at least in part because of my sacrifices for the family. I could have worked myself up through the ranks with the kids in daycare, but had I done that, then probably he wouldn't have gone as far as he did and would have never been able to rise up through the ranks very high either.

Unfortunately, my husband discounts what I do all day and my contribution. He treats me like a child and rules the money with an iron fist. But that's another sad story.

Suzi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:05am

You keep forgetting that where you live isn't the norm for, I dare say, anywhere else.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:10am
And what will benefit MOM.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:19am

So I was in your city huh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:19am
she may not know any professional nannies, but i guarantee that there are scads and scads of nannies working in that area in CT.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:19am
ANti teacher? ARe you kidding? I'm seriously considering doing it on a permanent basis.

My SIL was teacher of the year in a large school system. She's very dedicated and very caring. Why do you insist on equating the fact that I'm saying teachers don't work as many hours as other professions with the fact that they don't care?

Sheesh, get a grip and quit making assumptions. I never said teachers weren't good, only that they didn't have as heavy a schedule as other professions. Did I say any students are leaving illiterate? My aren't you reading a lot of bs into what I would consider a fairly innocuous post. The teachers in our town are excellent, they're paid well, and I couldn't ask for more. Why should people work more than they have to? They work smart and they don't have to.

Now elementary school teachers are a whole other story. I'd NEVER do that. Too much work. Even subbing in elementary is exhausting. They need to teach all subjects, different lesson plans all day long. Not so with middle or high school teachers. They can teach nearly the same lesson for all their classes. Get it?

I do know, I sub for them and typically if a teacher is smart, all her classes are doing the same lessons. It's a hell of a lot easier than elementary, that's for sure.

"p.s. my mom left home at 8am and was *never* home before 3:30-4:00. 2:15 is nothing but a joke."

Oh and that's classic. Thank you for proving my point. You think THAT is a long day? I used to leave the house at 7:00 am and never got home before 6:00 pm. Your mom schedule is like a half day. And don't forget she had all summer plus 3 or 4 weeks during the school year off. Don't try to tell me those are long hours, I know better.

How did she leave home at 8am? Our high school STARTS at 7:25. That's why they can leave at 2:15.

Don't get all defensive over nothing, it doesn't suit you. I'm not bashing teachers. The teachers I know do a great job and I only wish I had chosen it as a career way back in college. I would have made more money and put in less hours doing something I really enjoy than when I was an engineer. Yes, my sil makes 85K. Check it out, teachers in Fairfield county CT are some of the highest paid in the country, Eileen can attest to that. And I don't know how it is at Darien High, but here high school teachers get 3 free peroids a day. It's one of the best schools to teach in and that's one reason why so no, I said it before and I'll say it again, they aren't grading papers at night.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:23am
You know all about it right? If it's so easy to be a 6 figure executive go for it, afterall, it only involves sitting behind a desk, chatting on the phone and stroking eachothers egos right?

What are you waiting for?

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