Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 4:57pm
Name someone who is allergic to having a WM, lol. You know the point. Pick two things that aren't against your religion and you're not allergic to. The point is, picking what you want doesn't make it better. It just makes it what you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 4:58pm
Obviously not simple enough, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:03pm
You know, for alot people, the income and opportuntiy they are willing to forgoe in order to be able to be parents and professionals, easily outweighs the income and opportunity some others give up in order to be just parents. When you factor in the cost of childcare, and the $$ from a second good income that go towards the childrens present and futures...you have to wonder why anyone bothers to ask such a question. Its really a question to ask of those who opt not to work even though it would benefit their kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:04pm
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Sorry, but I've read this paragraph five times and, grammatically, it makes no sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:07pm
His SAT was 1206 on the old scale (the NYTimes published them.) Those scores would put him at about the 88th percentile of those taking the test that year, and for Yale, that is normally not near good enough. Bush himself has said that the only two schools he applied to were Yale and the University of Texas.

Face it, he got in on his family connections, and I'm not speaking only of the fact that his father was a prominant alum. Bush wasn't just any legacy, he was probably the most well-connected legacy to apply that year. His father was a Congressman from Texas, nice, but not enough to sway Yale under normal circumstances. His grandfather, however, wasn't just a US Senator at that time, but the senior Senator from Connecticut, where Yale just happens to be located. Trust me, *all* it would have taken to get him in was one call from Prescott Bush to the president of the university. Frankly, I don't think that it wouldn't have mattered if he had the worst SAT of all time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:11pm
So then are we going to be start sending our troops to North Korea? Pakistan? Cuba? And any other country run be a dictator?

IMO, this particular war was on Bush's personal agenda. (plus it was convenient because some people in tbe country for some reason thought Sadam Hussein had something to do with 9/11)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:29pm
ROTFLMAO. NOT EVEN CLOSE DEAR. Lots of things happen between birth and the final product, it's just that our working status doesn't make a hill of beans difference (finances aside) as we go along for the ride! I never said nothing happens. Our kids have lots of needs but mommy home 24 x 7 isn't one of them. They turn out fine if she opts out of the work force and they turn out fine if she doesn't opt out. You see, you can be a great/lousy mom as a SAHM or as a WM. It's not our working status that matters.

Start listing the things that really matter and see how far down the list you have to go to get to moms working status, lol. I'm not even sure that one is on the list!

Things I know matter more than moms working status:

(not in any particular order just as they come to mind)

Moms education level (associated with higher educational attainment and kids doing better in school)

SES (same as above but add reduced juvenile crime)

Demographics (self explanatory)

Parents parenting ability (ditto)

Quality of schools/education (self explanatory I would hope)

Whether or not you eat dinner together as a familym (associated with reduced incidence of drug usage)

Involved fathers (associated with reduced drug usage and reduced rates of teen pregnancy)

Whether you live with both/one of your parents (divorce definitely hurts kids but I don't know off the top of my head what things increase because of having divorced parents)

Religion/moral teaching (self explanatory)

Whether you have siblings and if you do birth order (there is a whole study of birth order and how it impacts us that's really interesting to look at)


Now let's look as having a SAH

SAH = ????? What is associated with having a SAHM??

Even whether or not your house is clean matters more than moms working status (Apparently, growing up in a clean house promotes organizational skills (I gotta work on this one, lol. Flylady.com here I come, lol.)).

From what I've read, I wouldn't be surprised if whether or not a child's bedroom has a window that faces east allowing them to wake up to natural morning sun has more importance than whether or not mom works. Maybe I should move my dd's to the eastern bedroom.....Might help grumpy's morning disposition.

I've listed more before but I'm tired and I would hope you get the point (but somehow I doubt it). IF (big IF) our working status (finances aside) matters it is such a small piece of the pie it's not worth fretting over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:32pm
I'm thinking the first.

Maybe it's my particular mood today, but IMO, a very large part of the decision to SAH or WOH is about the money.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:34pm

My husband's 26, with extensive law enforcement training, as well as training in other skills that support his ability to perform

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Avatar for phyreblade
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:37pm

Actually, my husband could easily get a job outside of the military, making much in terms of salary as he does at the moment.

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