Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 2:57am
But you're missing her point. Bush lied, LIED, *LIED* about the WMD. Do you not see that him lying about that is immoral. And if you think he lied about them just to get over and save the poor oppressed people of Iraq, then you are quite niave.



Who said he lied?? Who said they aren't there?? Just because they haven't been found yet? What did you expect them to be wrapped in a big bow on the steps of one of Saddam's palaces. There has even been an Iraqi Scientist now come out and say that yes, they did have WMD and were instructed to use them, but the reason they didn't is because no one wanted to fight for Saddam. And he even verified that these WMD's could've been launched within 30-45 minutes of Saddam's order.

Just because CNN or NBC (or whichever media channel) says nothings been found doesn't mean that's true. We don't know everything that has and hasn't been found over there. And the soldiers that may (and do know) aren't allowed to talk about it.

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 3:21am
"Bush's actions freed hundreds of thousands from oppressive rule...Clinton's pleasured himself and gave an intern a thrill. There is NO COMPARISON." Absolutely right there is no comparison. Clinton's fling didn't result in AMERICAN SOLDIERS DYING.
Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 4:25am
Ok, this is my last post and then I'm not responding to you anymore. I can't follow your twisted logic and I am tired of reading your "I want my cake and eat it too," posts.

You say finances matter. You can prove that via census data. Fine.

Just tell that to the well-heeled mother and father of the boy who killed himself last month. He was a friend of one of the young men my husband coached. Took some drugs with some friends, struck himself with a knife, jumped off a balcony and died. He had more money, more education, more everything than you or I will ever have.

And he is dead.

Yep. That higher SES really made a difference.

The point is, Cyndy, there is NO guarantee. God can take your children from you tomorrow. Phht. Just like that, they are gone. You read studies and live your life according to them because it makes you feel better. However, it doesn't really matter to me if my working FT will make my child turn out "better." Because I know it really does not matter. There are no guarantees.

But you just keep thinking there are. In the meantime, I'm going to finish my work for the month, close up shop for two weeks, and go play Harry Potter legos with my child. We're also having lunch together -- it's my birthday. I'm much more excited about having lunch with my child than I am about the SES my working gives him. Because I know the lunch and the memory he'll carry with him are far far far more important. Like I said, "relevancy" is in the eye of the beholder.

Ciao.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 5:15am
So, it's not enough for me to a be a middle school teacher? My kids loved and benefited from their different dc situations IN ADDITION to my care AND it allowed me to continue being the best teacher i know how to be. Earth-shaking job? nah, but definitely a job worth doing.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 7:19am
and no one needs a statistic to prove that! Have a wonderful birthday and great time with your ds. That was a great post.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:24am

Because what you are ignoring is that WOH doesn't matter to every family the way it matters to yours. If a family's SES is already at a certain point, if the second income does not significantly change the famliy's SES, if both parents working places the family at risk in other ways, then WOH is not making a positive impact on the children.


In the same way that WOH may be making a difference for your family, SAH may be making a difference for someone else's family.


You quote statitics and studies when it suits you because they apply to general populations, but do a lot of sidestepping when discussing individual circumstances. That's the inconsitency - such a large one that it borders on hypocricy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:26am
How low can you go??? Yes there is a correlation between SES and suicide but it's the other way my dear. Kids living in poverty are the ones more likely to commit suicide not those of higher SES!! Grasping at straws are we??? You know damned well one incident does not make a rule. Yes, kids from all walks of life commit suicide but attributing that to the parents working status is just low and completely unfounded.

No my logic isn't twisted at all. Higher SES is attributed to better results with regard to how kids turn out. BECAUSE my WOH increases our SES, significantly, my WOH does benefit my kids. However, finances aside, the decision to SAH/WOH has little impact on how kids turn out AND WHETHER OR NOT THEY COMMIT SUICIDE.

Can you get any more insulting than this??

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:27am

You can't have it both ways.


"I choose WOH but it's not any better than choosing SAH only WOH improves my families SES which is better."


Yeah, like we don't see through that one.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:30am

Are you sure?


I made no where near that on my PSAT and and was a National Merit semi-finalist - I think in the top 1%.




Edited 12/23/2003 9:31:32 AM ET by taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:32am
Are you being deliberately dense or are you always like this? I'm not trying to have it both ways. I've maintained all along that finances aside this is a decision that, in general, doesn't matter but that it can situationally matter but you'll know when it does because of your situation. For example, when you put finances back in, it often does matter with WM's improving their families standard of living. However, all by itself, SAH/WOH makes little difference if any. Consider the other factors it impacts and it just might, HOWEVER, when it does you should be able to say why it does. If you can't say why it does then you have no idea whether it does or doesn't. In my case it does because of a signficant increase in standard of living. Take that out and it likely makes no difference but you can't really take that out as we wouldn't have this standard of living without me WOH.

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