Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 2:04pm
I could be wrong, but doesn't the military provide substantial benefits, including a housing allowance? Would that extra 10K have paid for all those benefits you now recieve?

I guess I'm wondering if your dh could support your family of 5 on that one income without military benefits and a housing allowance if he had taken a job outside of the military, or if you would have to contribute.

If he could have, perhaps he should have taken it.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 2:10pm
Do you SEE any quotes around what I posted????????????

I agree with you. But having dual working parents is not always needed to "stack the deck."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 2:13pm
You mean the government doesn't pay for telephone calls from servicemen home?

That's outrageous, they should absolutely pay for that. Afterall, it's not your choice to be long distance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 2:13pm
Why counter something I never said in the first place if you didn't mean to insinuate that I thought there were guaranteed?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 2:51pm
But Cyndi, you are the one who always says sah does not make a difference for ANY family-unless the child is special needs or something. And without personally knowing EACH and EVERY family you speak of, you cannot make a blanket statement like that.

The only statement you can make that is universally true is that YOUR children and YOUR family benefit from your wohm. That doesnt mean wohm is a benefit to every family, it doesnt mean sahp is pointless. It just means that what works for YOUR family, works for YOUR family. Not everyone sees things the way you do, and thats okay. But you cannot try to constantly impose your stringent views on others and then get all upset when people can give you concrete examples as to why your views do not universally apply to the world.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 2:52pm
And for some families, having a sahp is stacking the deck in their favor.....

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 3:42pm

It depends upon where they're serving.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 4:25pm
<>

You didn't qualify it, sounds like you believe it is in the bag for you. Now, I still want you to define better. Better job? Maybe - although better than what and better for whom? Is a lawyer better than a meat packer, if so why?

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 4:30pm
This is why I can no longer "debate" with you. You don't read carefully enough. I'm responding to you on this post to point out two incorrect conclusions you drew from my post: I didn't give the mother's work status nor was it a suicide. So if you would please take back the accusation that I was hitting below the belt, I would appreciate that.

outside_the_box_mom

Avatar for phyreblade
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 4:37pm

And to bring this entire discussion back, full circle, to the original point...


Just because someone SAH doesn't mean they're "unwilling to work" OR "sitting on their butts all day".

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