Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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Avatar for phyreblade
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 4:41pm

Oh, yes, quite a few soldiers receive what's called BAH, basic allowance for housing.

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Avatar for phyreblade
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 5:09pm

No, the military doesn't pay for telephone expenses for it's soldiers, except when they're deployed in very remote locations as a "morale benefit".

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Avatar for phyreblade
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 5:09pm

About a month ago I came down with that flu that's been sweeping through the country.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 5:26pm
And just how is that? What positives are associated with having a SAHM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 5:28pm
Finances aside, it really doesn't. Finances included is another story. Lots of things make a difference. Moms level of education, SES and dads involvement to name three. All three of which can be positively influenced by moms WOH. However, all things being equal (they seldom are) SAH/WOH makes little difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 7:47pm
Thanks TM. For years now I have been trying to synthesize and put this concept into words but couldn't. Wow.

"In the same way that WOH may be making a difference for your family, SAH may be making a difference for someone else's family."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 8:25pm
You can only say that for your OWN family Cyndi. You dont know the dynamics of each and every family out there. There could be a myriad of reasons why having a sahp works *better* for an individual family. Why is that so hard for you to admit? It doesnt take anything away from YOUR family to be big enough to see that we are all individuals, kids arent cookie cutters, and different things work for different people/families/situations.

One can say that *overall* higher ses is a good thing for kids. But one cannot say that higher ses is *always* a good thing, any more than YOU can say wohm is *always* a good thing or sahp is *always* a good thing.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 8:26pm
Depends on the family in question.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 8:32pm
LOL! Naive is definitely one thing I am NOT. You should know if you are married to a soldier that there are certain things they may see with their own eyes, but they don't make it to the news or aren't released by the government right away.

Suffice it to say that I am positive there are WMD over there. I can tell you they were using chemical weapons (Concentration Camp Style) on their own people.

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 8:41pm
"No, paying taxes does not entitle one to anything. These systems are for those who cannot help themselve not for those who just choose not to work and stick their hand out."

I think there is a huge difference between staying home just because and gathering aid and staying home for a valid reason and gathering wic. I think that staying home with your three kids because their father is overseas defending OUR country a very good reason. Unless you've been there and done that its hard to realize how hard deployments can be on some kids. Personally, I stopped working (even though I worked at home) when we found out my DH was being deployed. And I am glad I did because during that time my boys needed me to focus on their needs.

And I think WIC is the very least we can do for the spouses that keep the household running while the other parent is fighting for our right to post on message boards.

Mary


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