Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:13pm
My kids have everything they need and then some. My never staying home would have only garnered us superficial luxuries, and I'm very glad I didn't sell my kids out for a closetful of Prada.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:16pm
"That would mean little in the way of college savings, growing up in a household that was living hand to mouth, living in not so nice a neighborhood, going to lesser schools and no frills like early musical traning. I think that makes a difference. No guarantees but I think the odds are in my favor. "

So the end result you are looking for is not how well adjusted a kid is, but the tangible things the child gets? From this post it sounds like what is important to you is what kind of neighborhood a kid grows up in, college savings, and extra 'frills'? Is this the end result that you think is significant in the difference between WOH vs. SAH?

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:20pm
I've given you tons of examples many times. You choose to discount them. One thing I can say without a doubt is that FOR MY FAMILY, having a parent home was/is *best* FOR US. I truly believe it affords us a much better quality of life than with both of us woh ft. Your quality of life would obviously be worse if one of you sah, thats why woh is best FOR YOUR FAMILY.

I dont make blanket statements about sah being *best* or woh being *best*. I think it totally and completely depends on the family in question, and must be considered on a case by case basis.

dj


Edited 12/23/2003 10:31:10 PM ET by djknappsak

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:23pm
Again, its all about what is best for YOUR family. You cannot take census data, which is highly flawed to begin with, as a basis for arguing that wohm is *better for everyone*. Its just simply not true.

And why must you add the little digs about *not every mom is capable of making a difference*. There are plenty of strong and capable women out there who DO make a difference-they just dont choose to do so by being caught up in the corporate rut.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:34pm
And again, those things apply to YOUR family. Not mine. Not a great many peoples. So you cannot say that *woh is better* for anyone EXCEPT YOUR FAMILY.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:37pm
Or what about aftercare for teens and tweens? There isnt really such a thing as daycare for a 12 or 13yo. Considering that most teen sex, drug abuse and other shenanigans occur during the hours of 3-6pm (latchkey hours), I think that having a parent HOME and physically present during those years is very important. Checking in with them via phone, etc. isnt the same thing.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 11:19pm

Trust me. . .I am married to a soldier. . .and while I understand that some things might be seen by the military members in a particular situation and not reported. . .but I seriously doubt that the existence of WMD is one of those things.


Now if you want to claim that your spouse saw WMD and came home and told you all about it. . .fine. . .go right ahead.


I am curious as to when/how long your husband was in Iraq.

Virgo
Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 11:45pm
What about WOH affects how well adjusted my kids are?? That has to do with parenting ability not moms working status.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 11:46pm
Flawed or not, the census data tells me I'm in good company.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 11:49pm
Get off your high horse. Is that all you can do is hurl insults? How is WOH equivalent to institutionalizing my kids??

FYI, I place great value on the time I spend with my kids. I just happen to realize that I don't need to spend 24 x 7 with them and that I do have time for both family and career. I happen to have a career that nets a paycheck that benefits my family. I have the best of both worlds. My family, a good career and the income to give my kids a few advantages in life.

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