Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:02am
Ahh, okay, that does make sense. Right now while we are adjusting to the civilian world and DH is starting at the entry level he does have to work OT to make ends meet. He only has a year left for his nursing degree so it won't be for that long that he has to do this. And I do see how that does take away alot of his "daddy" time (he's a very involved Dad), but in our case its the only way since I can't physically work outside the home.

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:10am
I am very sorry that your husband is still there and no return date:( The only reason DH got to come home was b/c he was on Stop Loss and was originally due out in May (got out the end of Nov.). His battalion is still over there and AFAIK there is no set return date (it'll be a year Feb.).

The only reason I wonder if the gov't would wait on releasing this kind of info is a) the amount of testing needing to be done and b) how bad it would make Bush look (in an election year) if they announced it and then were wrong. But I do know they did have the chemical weapons on a small scale. Because of DH's possible exposure in that room (they didn't have them wear protection) we are not having any more children:(

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:00am
Actually I would think that overall, the current class of sahms consist of older women who HAD careers and decided to sah. Most of the women I know are in that classification, worked very hard in their career through their early/mid 30's, then chose sah when they had children. It was an option they had BECAUSE they had *done their time* in the workforce. Considering women are having children at later ages all the time, I cannot see that sahms dont have the ability to impact the workforce.

What you have missed also is that SO MANY of these families with sahps come from latchkey childhoods and they DID NOT want that for their children.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:01am
But I think its only like 60 percent accurate!! How can you base your argument on that? There are so many people out there that the census never even gets to, or who never respond. its highly inaccurate, like I said.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:04am
Like I said, I have given examples before that perfectly fit your mold. Yet you still seem to insist that having a sahp cannot be *better*, but is at best *irrelevent*. It gives us a better quality of life, no doubt about it. Why is that so hard for you to accept in regards to other families? Its not like it takes something away from your family to admit that work status and its benefit depends on the family in question.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:23am
Make sure to clarify- FIVE PERCENT MORE INVOLVED.....nt

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:36am
I think she wants tangible results since hers were that she was able to give them a nicer neighborhood, music lessons, and better schooling.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 8:08am
Prada? Surely you jest. If it's not washable, I don't wear it--I just pretend the K in K Mart stands for Calvin Klein.

Seriously, the debate here seems to based on the premise that women work for one of two reasons--either to keep body and soul together, or so they can afford a lot of designer crap. Neither is the reality I know (although there was time I had to work to make ends meet). If DH and I were so inclined, we *could* engage in conspicuous consumption. We can buy the Benz, or the Hummer, and the big hosue, and I guess even some Prada if I wanted it, but that's not how we live. I do not have my nails professionaly done. Hell, I hardly ever have nails because I'm always painting and tiling. I pack everyone's lunch. DH drives a 7 year old Mazda and I drive a four year old VW wagon.

Like Cyndi,I work so we can afford to send the boys to a good parochial school, so they can go to any college they can get into, and so we have a cushion against hard times and emergencies. Of course there are some material, tangible benefits to my WOH, but that's not why I do it.

If you can provide your kids with good educations and a reasoanbly secure and comfortable life on one income, that's great. Whatever works for you. My kids are are at least as well adjusted as(and in some cases, far less spoiled than) their friends whose moms SAH. They are not serial killers in the making because I WOH and thereby deprive them of maternal attention. I'd be the same mom whether I SAH or WOH--to be honest, I would have liked to SAH for at least a couple of years, but that was more for me than for them. They're just fine.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 8:33am
I beg to differ. In my town, there are at least two different places that a 12 or 13 child can go afterschool. One is the teen club at the YMCA and the other is the local swim and tennis club. Both have after school programs for teens and pick up from both the middle and high schools. In addition, all the middle schools run a latch key program at the schools that runs til 6pm. Ther is plenty of aftercare for tweens and teens, at least where I live.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 8:37am
I cannot STAND celeb moms. Heck, if I had a cook, a maid, a makeup artists and hairdresser on call, sure thing I could manage to WOH and have a child, LOL. And it infuritaes me when they try to speak for all working moms, or all moms for that matter. Their experience is completely irrelevant to the rest of the population.

Susan

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