Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:39pm
As I said that was an extreme case. However, I have personally known many men who were laid off during middle age after earning high salaries and then not being able to find anything near their prior salary. I had a friend in elementary school who left our neighborhood to move into a better one becuase her Dad was earning the big bucks. her mom was a SAHM. Later on, he was laid off and the family had to seek assitance in paying their bills. I also knew another man who was let go in his 50's but his wife was a well paid teacher and they maanged just fine.

It is very common in Corporate America to try and get rid of the older people who make more money first. That is why it is not good to SAH forever and you havent I noticed.


Edited 12/24/2003 12:40:28 PM ET by tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:42pm
Oh good lord. Please point out where I said that having a sahp lessens the chance that a child will get in trouble?????? dont put words in my mouth. I cited some positives to having a sahp for MY FAMILY-one of those being not worrying about things like aftercare or latchkey. Doesnt mean I think it will prevent my kids from getting into trouble.

Again, try reading the thread a bit before jumping in. You kind of missed the point of the entire conversation.....

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:44pm
The problem with this argument is that tangible results are only good if NOTHING goes wrong. What was the post below, "Man makes plans, God laughs." .

The family down the street has DWOHPs. Great family, very involved with their children ect. Their lifestyle warrents two incomes because they have always had two incomes. Everything was going fine until the older boy turned 14. Now the older boy is a high school freshman and left to his own devices after school. All hell is breaking loose. As an outsider looking in I would say it is largely inpart to this child having no afterschool supervision for three hours. If one of the parents could work partime or quit entirely then possibly with more supervision things might be controlled. Obviously there are many variables and unknowns. What is known is that they are stuck, one of these parents cannot quit or go PT because they cannot afford to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:46pm
Not to mention they get to bring their children to work.
Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:49pm
"Please point out where I said that having a sahp lessens the chance that a child will get in trouble?????? "

You said in of your earlier posts that you felt it wasnt coincidental that kids who do drugs do them during 3-6

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:51pm
I think having a parent THERE lessens the chance. One does not necessarily have to be a sahp to accomplish that.

You wouldnt be so confused if you read the thread hon, I keep telling ya.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:52pm
I don't know about that. Both my parents worked, and we were home alone everyday and got into plenty of trouble. I think my parents were good parents, they just couldn't know what was going on when they weren't there.

My brother was a big drug dealer, we had kids coming to the house afterschool to buy all afternoon. NO WAY could he have gotten away with that if my mom had been home. Not a chance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:55pm
Well and I am not going to be so complacent as to have the attitude of *I raised my kids with values, therefore they wont get into trouble* OR *My kids are in sports. Therefore they wont get into trouble*. I was a teen once, I clearly remember it. Even good kids can get sucked into situations, the best parenting in the world is no guarantee. Physically being there CAN make a difference, doesnt mean they wont ever get into trouble, but it CAN help.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:57pm
Well, my mom could have been a detective. I never could have gotten away with anything.
Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:58pm
I am going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

Happy Holidays!

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