Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:00pm
True, I do sub now, but I could never support a family on that pay. Luckily I would never have to, even if dh did end it all, but I'd have to go get certified to make any money as a permanent teacher. I'd have enough money to take my time doing that though, so it's not a really big concern.

I work because the hours keep me home with the boys, it's an easy, flexible job, and I would be bored staying home when my children are in school. Oh, and I can pay the cleaning lady so I don't have to clean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:00pm
I think the proven thought process is: A few people won't do *it* because they just won't; Most people won't do *it*, because the fear getting caught; A few people will do *it* because they don't give a darn.

*it* being negative behavior. If a chid knows there is a high probablity of being caught that is a strong deterrent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:00pm
But you were obviously the type of child who didnt get into trouble. Regardless of your mother, had you been the type to seek it out, you would have and not cared that much about getting caught (or been sneaky enough not to get caught). Dont assume that your kids will be just like you. there is a lot more to it than just good parenting-some of it is sheer personality.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:01pm
And a parent being home makes getting caught a high probability.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:04pm
If one reaches middle age and doesnt have a fairly substantial savings/investments to fall back on, thats poor planning on their part. I would hope that by that point in time, they arent living paycheck to paycheck, and having to downsize to a lower salary wouldnt be a huge thing.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:20pm
I'll have to agree there. Decreased financial stress sure makes life easier.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:20pm
Up to a point I would agree with you. There are some career paths, however, that can result in only earning good money in the 30s and 40s. Academic science comes to mind :-). Most scientists I know of landed their first real (permanent, well-paying) job in their mid to late thirties. Dh's first real job came when he was 37, not enough time to build a very substantial savings....we are working on that now. Before that, we (along with most scientists I knew) spent whatever savings we did manage to accumulate on the next international move following the next post doc or, in one case, my graduate student career. Otoh, once you land that permanent job, the job security tends to be better then in most other fields.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:21pm
Less stress, got that. WOH means no financial stress here. Quality of life, got that too again augmented by my WOH. Consistency of caregivers, yup got that too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:22pm
That's because you describe the lifestyle rather than list benefits. What is your evidence of those benefits? What's different about your kids because you SAH? Are they smarter? What?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:23pm
But I never said that you didnt have that. I was citing positives of having a sahp for MY family. Not yours.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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