Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:25pm
Yes, exactly. I understand that some prefer a more laid back lifestyle or don't want to have to get up in the morning and get kids ready or fear someone else taking care of their kids. I understand that some prefer SAH, I just don't see it as a benefit in the same way increasing my family's standard of living benefits them. My WOH isn't just a preference, though it is as I DEFINITELY prefer raising kids sans financial stress, it actually benefits my family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:27pm
And I have lower stress due to the removal of financial stress. How is stress reduction associated with SAH when I do it too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:30pm
Correct but it helps to stack the deck which is all that any of us can do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:33pm
And for some families, there is no benefit to having dual wohps. You are only talking about what works for YOUR family. If I woh ft, our stress level would rise and our quality of life would decrease. My kids would be limited on what activities they could do, and there would be little flexibility for things like travel. We wouldnt live where we do because if both of us were commuting, we'd be looking at having our kids in dc for 11 hrs a day on the average. We would be less healthy, as there would be less time to prepare healthy meals and get in regular exercise.

Really, your woh IS just a preference, because you could live somewhere that meant a lower cost of living, or your dh could work in a higher paying career. You chose to have things a certain way because you feel it works best for YOUR FAMILY.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:33pm
While many older women are having children, the current class of moms isn't old by any means. Only some put off having kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:34pm
It is for MY family. I never said it was with EVERY family. Just as woh is not a benefit overall to EVERY family.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:35pm
Actually, I don't think it is. I suspect most SAHM's spend considerable time away from their kids. Which is one reason the time studies don't find much difference in the amount of parenting being done in SAHM vs WM households.

I was saying the I DON'T need to spend 24 x 7 with my kids. The point is, there's time for a job AND my kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:36pm
Quoting your own census data, I think the average age now is something like 26. Used to be much younger.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:37pm
Exactly what are the results of reduced stress anyway? While I am enjoying raising this batch of kids sans financial stress, I don't really see that as a benefit of my working status but rather a perk of the lifestyle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 1:43pm
Omg, you arent serious. The benefits of reduced stress? Includes things like lower risk of heart disease and longer life. Come on now Cyndi, even you should know that.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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