Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:30pm
LOL, so I should assume the opposite of what it says is true?? It, clearly, says that WM's are impacting their families finances in a big way. Yes, it may be off in magnitude but I HIGHLY doubt it draws the wrong conclusion!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:40pm
You dont think that your living longer would benefit them? Or your having less health problems down the road??

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:41pm
No but for each family there can be particular benefits to each. You choose what YOU like-woh ft, because that is what best benefits your family. It gives you more disposable income and affords you certain things. I choose what *I* like-woh very pt, because that is what best benefits my family. It gives us more TIME, less STRESS, and more flexibility for my children. We think that is important.

dj


Edited 12/24/2003 2:46:27 PM ET by djknappsak

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:42pm
But you cannot quote it as being accurate across the board either. therefore it doesnt work for your argument.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:16pm
Kids of WM have lots of parental time, but not while both their parents are at work. In the situation in this subthread, lack of parental supervision is letting a 14yo get up to trouble. It all depends on the kid. Some will dutifully do homework or chit-chat on the phone during the window between end of school and end of work. Some will do less benign things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:47pm
You say that like it's a bad thing. A father who is 5% more involved is better than one who is 5% less involved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:49pm
I absolutely agree with you, but she seems to count "positive" things as tangibles. So, for her the nice neighborhood/house, music lessons are what counts. For my family its the intangibles that count. For us juggling a little in the early years to make ends meet is outweighed by the ability for me to be home with our boys while they are little.

Of course I am definitely not saying that WOHM's only do it so they can drive new cars, etc. I am merely saying that everyone's idea of 'positive' results is different.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:54pm
You do what you have to when you're a parent. It comes with the territory. Sometimes, life just doesn't give you much of a choice. My step dad often worked two jobs to make ends meet (mom worked too). While I would have liked to have seen more of him, we understood why he was doing what he was doing.

Sometimes you are compelled to choose the future over now. I'm back in school myself working on a masters in arts in teaching. Not because I'm terribly unhappy where I am but because it's no longer sensible to plan on one career for 30 years in my field. You stand a good chance of being downsized out in your 50's. Since my kids will be just starting high school when I'm 50, I figured I best get to work on career number two. Fortunately, I don't have to do this forever. I plan on partying that entire first summer I'm off too, lol. Not that that's why I'm doing this but that will be nice and it will kind of be like getting back some of the time I'm giving up now. I keep telling myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:55pm
Uh, I'm not. Statistics speak to the masses. The rest of the post was about my situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:56pm
As long as dad's happy too, great.

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