Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 9:41pm
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Yes, WOH prevents financial stress on YOUR family and that is a benefit to YOUR family. BUT every family has a different concept of what financial stress is to them. That's why I don't think the studies done are valid. You can quantify what each and every family counts as a benefit. You can say that by going to a good school your kids have a better chance at being successful in life, but that is going by what 'successful' means to you. I bet it has a totally different meaning to me. My mom considers that I am successful because I am happy with my life and my kids are provided for. But my sister considers me unsuccessful because I put my career on hold to be home with my kids and therefore do not make as much as her.

You keep listing the benefits to your family which is great. BUT we don't all consider these to be important benefits. We are trying to explain to you what WE consider to be benefits to OUR situation and OUR family.

I think that's why the studies can't find a difference in kids of WOHP vs SAHP. There are somethings that just cannot be measured.

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:14pm
I'm not quoting it! I'm using it to show a trend! WHY for one second would I think that with the census showing a 40% increase in income when mom WOH that WM's aren't making a difference?? No, the 40% isn't an absolute but you've got a long way to go do get to WM's WOH doesn't make a difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:17pm
Not at the moment and that IS what we're talking about. Besides, there is a link between income and longevity too. I'm more likely to live longer because I have the financial means to take care of myself. Not to mention, I'd rather not be a burden to my kids. I don't see how that would benefit them at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:19pm
OOOOH That'w REALLY OLD, lol. 26 is hardly long enough to have had much of a career, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:19pm
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It is??


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:21pm
Speaking statistically they do. Statistically speaking, I've increased the chances of my girls graduating from college, selecting majors that involved math/science and reduced the liklihood of teen pregnancies. Nothing is absolute, however, to turn this around, nothing about SAH results in kids becomming better adults. You don't even have statistics there to say you're stacking the deck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:23pm
If wishes were horses then beggers would ride. What does her wishing she could have had the luxury of SAH mean other than she wishes she had the luxury of SAH? Did her kids turn out to be mass murderers or something?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:24pm
And that makes woh less stressful for you-because if you didnt the financial stress would be more than you want to deal with. Woh ft would be MORE stressful for MY family. Arent you even coming CLOSE to getting it yet????


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:24pm
Woh makes a difference for YOUR family, for SOME families. Sah makes a difference for MY family, for SOME families.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:26pm
I did not SAH 24 x 7 when I SAH, nor did most of the SAHM's I knew/know now. The point is, I don't need to. Nobody needs to. What numbers would you prefer I use to show how rediculous it is to say that we can't both WOH and raise our kids? I have no idea how much time the average SAHM spends away from her kids. If you throw in things like playing in the back yard while mom washes the dishes, it's probably quite significant. Personally, I don't think it matters who watches the kids while they're on play dates or playing in the next room.

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