Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
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Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
| Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am |
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.
Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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Don't get me wrong. I really like living in a financially stress free houshold. I'd say it vastly improves my quality of life over the alternative but I just don't think whether or not you feel financial stress is going to impact how your kids turn out unless you're involving your kids in things you shouldn't be. What you can/cannot afford will affect them but whether or not you feel stressed shouldn't. The boys knew they never had a lot growing up but if we were having trouble making the house payment, they didn't know it.
Edited 12/25/2003 8:10:01 PM ET by cyndluagain
Maybe not to YOUR kids but it has been a great benifit to my daughter. She doesn't have to worry about whether there will be a roof over her head or food in her stomach. By having to "fend for herself" after school she has become more independent and her self esteem has risen because she KNOWS she can do the things required of her. She has also found a new interest that she has been pursuing, that she has found she is quite good at, cooking. She is a WHIZ in the kitchen and now has yet another option for a career. You can't tell me that is not a benefit.
Trust me, I ENJOY raising kids and not worring about finances! I've done the hand to mouth route and would never volunteer to go back there. But it's really just something *I* enjoy. While my kids will benefit from our financial situation via good schools, a better neighborhood to live in, enrichment activities like music and dance and things like great medical care, the fact we don't have financial stress is transparent to them (unless dh and I are jerks who involve our kids in matters they shouldn't be).
If we lived where we we are now and were living hand to mouth instead of with more surplus than the average family makes, I don't think my kids would turn out significantly different. They MIGHT be more miserly but that's a big MIGHT. My MIL is the biggest penny pincher I know (grew up in the depression and was raised to waste nothing) so dh grew up in a household that had a tight budget but money burns a hole in his pocket. His mom is quite well off and still a penny pincher. Dh can't save to save his soul. Fortunately, I save enough for both of us.
Jenna
Stress reduction is most definitely a benefit to kids. There are other types of stress besides financial stress. We don't have financial stress in our family. However, when I was working FT I was definitely much more stressed than I am now. NOT because of money, but because of time pressures. When I worked PT the stress level was much lower. But working FT was very stressful for my family and it showed up in lots of different ways, NONE of them financial as dh and I were making lots of money when we were both working.
It has been said that stress is America's number 1 health problem. Stress can contribute to: Cardiovascular Disease, neurologic disorders, depression, anxiety and panic disorders, post traumatic stress disorder, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder, alcoholism, immune system disorders, disease of the gastrointestinal tract, and many other diseases.
It is not just NICE to reduce stress. Stress reduction can be necessary for good health. I know more than one person whose health problems were resolved when they left a very stressful job. And having sick parents is a really big stressor for children.
Jenna
No matter how much you shield a child they know when mom or dad is stressed. My DH suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and he doesn't tell the boys he has awful nightmares at night and that certain noises make him jump, but you can bet my 5 yo. notices a difference. Kids feel their parents stress.
I suffer from fibromyalgia and stress directly affects my pain level. More stress I'm under, the more pain I'm in. And how I feel directly affects my boys because when I can't get out of bed I can't play with them.
So, for some lowering their stress level by SAH is a benefit to both the parent and the child.
Mary
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