Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 3:29pm
But *I* never said they were not. The entire gist of this thread was YOU saying that there is NO benefit to sah for any family, and that woh ALWAYS had inherent benefits. Again, you cannot say it as a blanket statement, because each family situation is going to be unique.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 3:31pm
You really dont think children suffer in a home full of stress?

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 3:43pm
Read the links. The rise itself is the negative. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean I haven't established it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 4:07pm
Never mind the kids, let's just compare the two of us, shall we? One of us obviously feels so much guilt over not seeing her children enough that she has to go looking for studies and proof and research to prove to her that she isn't damaging her children.

I, on the other hand am confident that I've done everything I possibly could for my children, and have compromised nothing when it comes to their well being. I don't need constant reassurance that my kids will turn out just as well as any other families.

I don't need to go digging up studies to let me sleep at night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 4:11pm
Me, a MSAHM? Now that's rich, tell my employer how I'm a MSAHM. Too funny.

I never said you weren't raising your kids, I said, "I SEE MANY BENEFITS TO A MOM STAYING AT HOME OVER SENDING HER CHILDREN TO DC".

Do you think you got that?

Honestly, I really don't care if you woh 100 hours a week. Honest. I'll be home for my kids and avoid DC, you do whatever you like. I don't care.


Edited 12/26/2003 4:16:32 PM ET by islimshady

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 4:46pm
I repeat: <> was the question. I don't think SAH is better for everyone, but THERE ARE POSITIVES in doing it -- be they for the mom, dad, child or entire family.

As for the differences we'll see in our kids, that's irrelevant. Comparing my kids with a SAHM and yours with a WOHM means nothing. And since you can't simultaneaously SAH AND WOH with your kids, YOU won't know if your WOH was better for them either (at least not in a non-financial way.)

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 4:53pm
Nobody needs to....WHO THINKS they DO??? Don't throw out that ridiculous 24x7 thing because I'm sure VERY FEW moms think they need to be with their kids at all time. SAH does NOT=24x7 spent with kids. THAT, we agree on.

And for the record, you spend X amount of hours away from your kids while you're at work. Please, if you're going to count kids spending time away from their SAHMs while they're playing in the backyard, don't try to count the time that YOUR kids are playing in the yard, doing homework, watching TV, etc. after you're home from work as YOUR time with them. Looks like you'll be subtracting some more quality time from your X amount of hours you claim to have with them each week. lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 4:58pm
I said there is no general benefit to SAH like there is for WOH in that WOHM's, usually, positively impact their family's finances. What do SAHM's usually do and what is the evidence that it's better for their kids?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 4:59pm
Read my posts. I've said repeatedly that this is not a function of stress in the houshold but a function of how the parents deal with said stress. And you don't have to change your working status to deal with stress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:00pm
LOL, nope. What I read is there is a rise and if too high, there are issues. However, it doesn't say the rise for dc kids is too high. What they established is that kids in dc feel more stress. I didn't see any evidence that it was particularly negative or did I miss that part. What happens to these kids because of this stress? I saw where they speculated it was an issue for shy children but didn't see anything to back that up. So what happens to these kids? What ill effects should I be looking for in my kids because both were in dc full days as a direct result of increased stress hormones during the aftenoon?


Edited 12/26/2003 5:08:34 PM ET by cyndluagain

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