Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:01pm
My dd's attend a latch key program. What of it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:02pm
UGH. I listed two things among many. NEVER did I say that was all inclusive and any kind of guarantee.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:03pm
Lovely, now we have WM's condemning WM's.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:11pm
No but we know that one positive attached to WOH is increased family income. I don't think there are positives associated with SAH like the income increase WM's bring to their families. Not to be mistaken as I think all moms should WOH or all would benefit their families. I'm fully aware that some moms lack the ability to benefit their families by WOH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:14pm
you know, i've stayed out of this for a long time, BUT, guess what? I've woh ft for their entire childhoods and i have NO GUILT whatsoever. Has it occurred to you that CLW brings up the studies JUST to prove her point in the debate -- NOT over any sense of "guilt" (what in the hell is there to feel guilty about anyway)?

The research and proof is FOR THIS BOARD. I don't NEED any study or research to tell me that i'm not "damaging" my children by continuing to woh. All i need to do is look at my 3 beautiful, happy,healthy, intelligent children.

additionally, i am confident that i have done everything possible for my children and have compromised nothing when it comes to their well-being. I don't need constant reassurances that my kids will turn out just as well as any other families.

I don't need to go digging up studies to let me sleep at night. They are dug up as PROOF on this DEBATE board, but they are certainly NOT needed for me in my own personal and family life.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:36pm
I didnt say a latchkey program-that is aftercare and totally different than a latchkey child. Meaning the child is home ALONE for the 2-3 hrs every day after school. You said you were considering this for your oldest, were you not?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:38pm
Yes and I listed having a parent at home in the afternoons for a teen a *good deterrent* in regards to them getting into trouble. I ALSO did not state that it was all inclusive or any kind of guarantee. YOU are the one that made that ASSumption.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:40pm
If you didn't understand the negatives spelled out in the links offered then I suggest you google *stress* to find something more suitable to your comprehension level.

I have no idea what negative effects your children may experience as I don't know them. Some children love daycare and do wonderfully in it. Yours may very well be in that cateogory. Since your woh increases your SES (which I agree is a plus when it makes a difference in said SES) it is obviously what is best for YOUR family. For many of us that is not the case as we have shown time and time again in numerous ways including the negative health impacts of stress and how daycare can relate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:41pm
No, there is no general benefit to wohm. Not until you look at each family individually. Like you said, kids of sahm and kids of wohms turn out about the same-without factoring in individual circumstances you cant say that one has any MORE benefit than the other. Yes, affecting ones family finances positively *could* be seen as a benefit. But money certainly is not the be-all, end-all. It cant buy a happy family. It is not a guarantee, it isnt even *stacking the deck*. Wohm only has benefit on an individual basis, with many other factors to consider. As does sahm. The only thing wohm is guaranteed to do is bring in more $ for a family. That could be positive, negative, or completely neutral-depends on the family.

dj


Edited 12/26/2003 5:57:24 PM ET by djknappsak

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:45pm
No you dont *have* to change it, but sometimes a career change can help. Whether it be a lower stress job (talk to an air traffic controller...) or going pt, or retiring early, or quitting. That may not always be a possibility, but you cannot discount the effect of stress on a FAMILY, just because you *think* the parents should be able to control it enough to keep it from their kids. Kids are much more intuitive than THAT.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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