Which came first, the title or the SAHW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Which came first, the title or the SAHW?
1695
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:04am
Last night I attended my husband's work Christmas party. I sat with the CEO, CFO, CTO, COO (Chief operations officer, I didn't know that acronym, I had to ask), Creative Director, Marketing Director and their wives. Near the end of the evening it was just we wives chatting mostly about kids. I made the observation that even though all the wives were intelligent, educated and accomplished women, not a single one (except me), woh. They are all SAHM's.

Any thoughts on why that might be? I have my own opinion but I'd like to hear from everyone else first. Do you think they sah because of their husbands jobs or their husbands have their jobs because the wives stay home? Or doesn't it matter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 5:48pm
No condemnation, but not everyone insists that things have to be as black and white as you want to make them. It *IS* possible to acknowledge another pov without negating your own viewpoint. Maybe you should consider the fact that its not just a few msahms who disagree with you-its a good portion of wohms too.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 6:08pm
LOL Bundy had a formal college education. Bin Laden has his degree in civil engineering. Gacy had a business degree. Uday Hussein completed his doctoral thesis.


Of course these are extreme examples, but education on it's own or even combined with money/earning potential does NOT create a better person. Unless you use degrees and earnings exclusively to measure the character/worth/"betterness" of people.




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 6:10pm
I can not stand that argument! Too many people HAVE to work full time and then some in order to care for chronically ill family members for that to be dragged out on the ol' mommy guilt list.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 7:06pm
Absolutely,but *sometimes* financial stress is caused by bad habits,not by lack of a second income.IOW,if you have bad money habits,all the money in the world won't help you.So,I would say good money habits is the best way to decrease financial stress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:07pm
LOL, WOH may be a necessity or a lifestyle choice but it doesn't "benefit" anyone any more than SAH does. Kids have basic needs to be supported financially AND to be cared for - for some reason you think that any additional parenting time over some minimum is a waste, but you don't seem to think any additional $ that you throw at a family is a waste, why is that? At some point, adding more money to the equation doesn't produce any additional benefit. You're very insistent that additional dad time/involvement is of benefit to kids but I have yet to see you suggest that kids benefit from mom time. If you want to believe that your kids would not benefit by additional time with you, be my guest. Kindly leave the rest of the world out of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:17pm
So how is "parenting" or "involvement" defined, anyhow? What if two parents are at home at the same time, are they both getting "credit" or not?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:23pm
Last I knew, people (yourself included!) learned to play the piano sans Yamaha. You conveniently ignored the rest of my post. Care to explain why you WOH so that your daughters can take piano lessons produces "better" children than my SAH so I can teach my child all sorts of things can? I don't see where dual WOH produces any benefits beyond that of SAH once a certain level of income is met.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:24pm


AHEM...when my daughter was small and I was working outside the home I was in the yard playing with here, I was helping her with her homework and we would have discussions on the topics she was studying, I was sitting snuggled up on the sofa watching televison with her...now tell me what is NOT quality time about that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:38pm
"I don't NEED any study or research to tell me that i'm not "damaging" my children by continuing to woh." How did this get to be about you? Did anyone in this conversation say you were damaging your children by WOH? I think not. No one has said you should feel guilty. No one has even said that CLW should feel guilty. No one has even said that there's anything TO feel guilty about. CLW, however, unlike most WOHs here, does seem to have an unnatural need to put down SAH that goes above and beyond debate. Seems reasonable to wonder why that might be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2003 - 8:49pm
LOL, there are other alternatives to WOH too, like marrying a spouse with a good income who values you SAH, saving lots of money before having children, and eating IN, but you don't see me recommending that everyone should do that. You treat SAH like it's the worst possible option, to be avoided at nearly any cost.

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